To Whom it may concern: This is why I can't continue living (Jade Coleman).
I'm sick of everything. I just can't handle the world anymore. It's too much for me. I have nothing going for me. The sooner I'm gone, the better off everyone will be.
All I do is hurt people, because unlike you normal people, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). If you don't know what BPD is click right here. It's HELL. There is a monster trapped inside of my body. When it emerges, I become a demon.
As you all know, I just recently got out of another relationship. Of course the only person who treated me RIGHT, said he was so lucky to have me, gave me his heart and only wanted happiness is the one I had to hurt. I said very awful things to him. I didn't mean it. I was dissociating, stressed, we were having an argument (over stupid, only reason we argued so much is because I was paranoid and insecure about him being friends with this one girl who turned out being really nice) and the monster emerged. He broke up with me for it. I feel guilty for hurting him, so I have punished myself for it already. I feel extremely guilty for hurting him. Everyone thinks I am a horrible person for saying those things, but I truly and honestly from my heart didn't mean it. I didn't mean to tell him that if I killed myself, it would be his fault. I didn't mean to tell him I hated him. But he hurt me too by breaking promises that I truly believed in.
So, you may think that "Oh she's just cutting and suicidal because she got dumped", because I have a history with that with a previous ex. That's not the case this time. I'm depressed for so many reasons now. There are almost hundreds of them. I am mostly depressed because I have BPD and I have it really badly. The break-up has just made me realize everything else in my life that's so discombobulated.
Also, I'm tired of people making promises that they cannot keep. How many times do I have to go through this? I'm such a nice, sweet, honest girl with a horrible mental illness. I just want to be loved. I just want to be important. I just want to be important enough to actually not be given up on for once.
The ending of this relationship has made me realize, nobody will ever take me seriously. I'll always be taken advantage of. Nobody will ever love a girl with scars on her arm. Nobody will ever truly stay in love with me. It made me realize that this world really doesn't need me. It made me realize that I won't succeed.
I am nothing more than a failure. I can't hold a relationship, I can't hold friendships, I am no good in school, I have no talents, I'm not attractive, I fuck everything up, I have BPD and several other mental illnesses I was diagnosed with, everything I say is stupid, I'm needy and I'm incapable of holding the simplest of task.
All I want is to actually be important to someone on more than a "omg just friends" level. I want someone to stay in love with me forever. I want the broken promises to STOP. I want to be golden. Nobody will ever see me like that. NOBODY. And I refuse to wait years for this to happened. I've been broken, hurt, abandoned and thrown aside by almost every human being that has ever walked into my life. I've been bullied badly ever since the 5th grade. They always told me I won't amount to shit, and they are all right.
I just can't continue doing this. I am a 20 year old girl. I'm too young to feel so miserable, empty and depressed. Also, depression is nothing I can "just get over". It's a disease, just like anything physical. I hate people who don't take depression that seriously or self harm.
I can't do this anymore. I'm in a deep hole and I can't crawl out of it. No hospital can fix me, and I don't know why I've been to three in the past 7 months. I was in 2 car accidents in late 2010. I totaled my car in the first one. I should've died in it.
Maybe if my mom would've got me the help I needed when I was 14/15, I would be better. But it's too late now. I'll be 21 in April. I won't get to celebrate it. I don't even want to.
So, now I can't deal with the world anymore. It's too big and scary. I am going to take all of my pills.
I don't care if you say "Suicide is selfish". So is wanting me to stay alive and miserable. No, suicide won't make me feel happy, but I'd rather feel nothing than to feel miserable, guilty, anger, stupid, etc. Some say it's cowardly. I guess I'm a coward then. It's not even close to the worse thing I've been called. I'm not strong.
I am a really sweet person, but living with BPD is too much. It's too hard to fight, and I just don't think I can do it anymore. I will be swallowing pills and hopefully I'll die this time I do it (for some reason I never die). If I wake up, it obviously wasn't enough to kill me.
I want to get better, I truly and honestly do. For some reason it's not happening. I'm a shit.
I can't hold on any longer. This world is too scary for me. Some say "maybe things will get better" but there is a possibility that they won't. I didn't deserve BPD, I didn't deserve manic depression (bi-polar), I didn't deserve anxiety disorder, I didn't deserve MDD (major depressive disorder). Doctors have diagnosed me with all of the above, and I am a big ball of walking psychopath. I am crazy. I AM FUCKING CRAZY AND I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. I WANT TO BE FUCKING NORMAL.
With that being said, I'm gone. If I wake up, I didn't die. If I come back months later, it's because I didn't die and my mom threw me in a long term hospital. If I don't come back, I died. Peace.
please dont. i hurt the love of my life too and now i cant get him back but there is always hope that maybe one day he will realize he needs you just as much as you need him
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your pain. I have BPD too, and I know how much of a monster it is. I know how it can drag you to the depths and beat you until you cannot stand. I am also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. I have been hospitalized 6 times, I am a self-injurer, and I have called suicide hotlines.
ReplyDeleteI have been where you are, and made it out alive. I know the feeling of death's breath on my neck. I have drank and smoked my sorrows away, I have carved my flesh to get rid of the pain. I have tried to bleed it out of me. I may not understand your pain, but I can relate to it. I know the pain of mental illness. I know the damage it can do...but again, I am here. Alive on this Earth.
I am a testament that you can make it out of that suicidal hole alive. And I know you can too. I will not sit here and lecture you on the ethics of suicide...because it is not my place to judge your pain, and people that say suicide is selfish are doing just that. Somehow I found my way to this blog today, by some great spirit, or God, or Allah, or whatever you want to believe. Somehow I am here to tell you these things and hope you listen.
I have dealt with great pain in my life, but I always say I would not change my experiences, because it somehow brought me something I need to learn, or a person to meet, or an experience to share. I would not trade my pain for anything in the world in this moment, because it has brought me to typing this comment to you, and to understanding your pain. I would not change a thing for this very reason.
You are beautiful. You are brighter than the fireworks that paint the sky at midnight. You are worth more than the sum of your pain, you are worth more than all the beauty in the world. Because the world will be much grayer without you in it.
I don't know you, but I love you. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I want you to find peace and joy in your life. I know you will find that peace and joy, because I have been in your shoes. I know because I have been there too.
If you don't know, To Write Love On Her Arms is an organization dedicated to raising awareness and preventing suicide, depression, self-injury, mental illness, addiction, and more. It has saved my life before. Please look, because it could save your life too.
http://www.twloha.com/find-help/
Try and find help from a friend, a teacher, a parent, or check yourself into the hospital. Because you are worth it. You matter, in the great cosmic scheme of things, you were put here for a reason, but you weren't meant to die like this. No one is.
I am saying this because I care. You may say,
"How could you care? You don't know me." But I think humanity is a beautiful thing, and that connections can be made in an instant. I believe in peace and unity and all the things that we humans could be, if we could just lend a hand to each other. I lend my hand to you, in order to pull you from that hole that mental illness has dug.
I hope these words reach you. I hope I'm not too late.
"I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive
So I'm going to start over tonight
Beginning with you and I
When this memory fades
I'm gonna make sure it's replaced
With chances taken
Hope embraced
And have I told you?
I'm not going
cause I've been waiting for a miracle
And I'm not leaving
I won't let you
Let you give up on a miracle
Cause it might save you."
you can't kill yourself.
ReplyDeleteyou really, honestly can't.
because if you do, then what hope is there for me?
i have nothing, no-one, nada.
i'm seperated from my entire family, my friends hate me because of my depression, i too have BPD, bipolar, depression, anxiety and the list is just growing... so i know how you feel.
it's hell, and i know that, but you can't let go.
we have to stick this life out, and we have to show people that we can do this.
i don't know about you, but i want to prove to people that i can get through ANYTHING, and come out fighting.
i have something to tell you.
i nearly did it, about a week ago.
i nearly killed myself. i was sitting in my room.
i wasn't crying, or cutting, or even getting angry... i was just so numb, so completely and utterly alone that i couldn't bear to go on.
i gave myself an hour to live, to say goodbye to everyone.
i rang my mom on her mobile, and she didn't answer. i tried calling for at least 45 minutes, and she didn't pick up.
i started to take my pills, slowly, and on my tenth, she rang back, crying.
I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she'd been sleeping because she'd felt ill, but she'd woken up because she felt something was wrong with me.
we're not even close anymore, and this tiny little comment has kept me going for the past week.
you know what? i don't know if you have anyone like this, maybe you don't.
my point is... you don't know.
maybe you think you have no friends, that your boyfriend hates you, but.. from experience, there is ALWAYS someone that cares enough for you, to never let you go.
i've attempted suicide so many times, and it's never worked.
i've always been held back, just by something small.
but from reading your post, i figured somethings been holding you back, too.
and no, i'm not going to go say suicide is selfish.
because it's not. it's about freeing yourself, and i know the fascination. i want to be free, and i guess you do, too.
free from all the abnormalities.
all i'm saying is... just please don't leave.
because if you leave, if you give up, then i have no hope.
no chance of EVER being, or feeling, normal.
and that sucks.
i just hope that, even if this doesn't help you.. you can just know that someone cares. someone feels the same way. i do, i know how you feel, and i'm just begging you.
please don't do this.
i'm not going to say 'lifes so much better', because lets be honest, right now, life is fucking shit.
but soon enough, you'll find someone. in the strangest place, at the strangest place.
maybe they won't be a boyfriend, or a best friend, or even a friend.
but i just hope that they can give you strength, just for a little while.
i hope that they can give you hope, and i hope that you will use it.
because i can't bear to lose someone in the same situation as me..
not again. i don't know you, and i realise that.
maybe there's a ton of shit that you're holding back, and i respect that.
just don't leave me here, fighting alone.
because i've finally found someone like me, and i'm not prepared to let it go.
even if this is as far as our friendship goes...
i don't want you to leave.
if you leave this world, then i am completely fucking hopeless.
i have no-one to fall back on. neither of us do.
so just hear me out, and if you've read this far, then i know that you have hope.
even if it's not enough to save us both.
just please.
don't.
id love a girl with scrapes on her wrists. just sayin,there isn't something that you're going through that someone else hasn't experienced you are never alone even if you feel that way. i've been where you are its a horrible place but remember people love you and there is ALWAYS someone that cares weather you know it or not.
ReplyDeletePlease don't do it. Please just don't! I like the others have been where you are and also have made it out alive! I don't know you or your story and you don't know me or my story but I know together we can keep living and I know that even if it's just me you have someone to talk to. Please talk. Please keep going. PLEASE! Just look at these five comments and know that there are those out there that care.
ReplyDeletePlease, just what ever you do, don't give up. Keep going.
I can't say it enough!
DON'T. I don't know anything about you and nor what you look like or how you act but I know one thing: You're amazing. In every single way.
ReplyDeleteThe reason you're feeling the way you are is because you're letting society rule your life. Let go. Just sit down and breathe, take it all in and just breath out to a fresh new start.
I've been in your situation where I've felt depressed, that no one loved or ever will love me, that I had to impress everyone or I'd be frowned upon. I hated myself. I was ugly and everyone made sure they knew I knew that about myself. I have a mild case of Bi-Polar and when I throw a tantrum it's like the end of the world for me. I've debated on taking my life away, but I came to realize that it's not worth it. Just wait, you'll find someone who loves you for you. Just have faith. I completely blocked out the world one day and woke up as a new person. I now just see the world as shallow and anyone who tries to bring me down are just ignorant, useless, scum.
Please don't go down to that level of diminishing your life 'cause there are people in this world who will sit there crying and wondering why. People care about you, you just need to dig deep in seeing that.
The world needs more sweet, kind, and nice people, like you say you are. Please don't pull through with this, because I, and hundreds of others CARE about you. And you just don't realize it. You'll find happiness and love and everything you've ever wanted. Just wait. Please don't pull through with it.
If it's a consolation, I want to say that I think you're beautiful, and I love you. I have never met you, nor have I seen you, but none of that matters, because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE. YOU ARE. YOU ARE.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve to live, you deserve a husband who will truly love you more than anything in the entire world. A husband who would take a bullet fot you, who would risk death.
You deserve kids who will one day look up and say their first word to you, who will kiss you, but not be able to because they are too young to do so. Kids who you will watch grow, and you will cry with them, and help them choose a dress for prom, and who will love you more than anything else.
Kids who have kids, who will call you 'Grandma' and who will love you so much, and who will beg you to spoil them when mom isn't looking. Grandkids who will look to you for advice because mom might get mad.
You will be happy, you will get through it. Maybe not tomorrow, next month, or in the next 6 months, but you WILL do it. I know this sounds insensitive, but you WILL.
Please, don't do it. You will be happy, sometime, you will.
dont do it.
ReplyDeleteyou said you dont like hurting people, but if you do this you will be hurting more people.
please. dont do this.
i don't know you, but please, please believe me when i say that this is not the answer. Please call 1-800-442-HOPE and talk to someone there. Listen to what everyone is saying. Don't give up. Please hold on.
ReplyDeleteOh, please don't! You are so much more wonderful than you think! I know the world can seem big and scary at times, but sometimes all you need is a little time to yourself. Relax. Breathe. Everything is going to be okay. There are so many people who want to help. Nobody wants to see you something so tragic.
ReplyDeleteDo whatever makes you happy, and forget about the rest for now. Go out and have fun! See a movie, go bowling, go to a bar or club (but be careful). Or, if that isn't your cup of tea, stay home and read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie. I know doing any of these might not COMPLETELY solve your problems, but it reminds you that life isn't all that bad. There are so many beautiful things out there. You just haven't seen them yet.
Please please please keep going. You can do it! Persisting through the really rough times of your life will eventually make you a stronger person. You will be a changed woman at the end of it!
And always remember this: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Have hope. <3
I don't know what your going through, but I do know what it's like to be different in a way that most people can't understand. I know what its like to stand back and see everybody else having problems and wishing that's all you had to worry about. I know what its like to wish everyday that you were living a different life and questioning why such bad things happen to you. But please, please don't kill yourself. There ARE people that care, everyone who has commented are proof of that and no were never going to know if anything we said helped or not, please. Just take it one day at a time and soon it wont seem like such a task any more, if your not going to give yourself another chance, give us a chance, give our care and help a chance.
ReplyDeletePLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF . you may not know me but i will miss you soo much if you do. i care about you & you are important to me
ReplyDeletePlease don't do it! I swear you are amazing and beautiful and you need to live. There are so many things to live for--I know it is hard to see that now, but there truly are. I once was at your point, about to suicide, but I didn't and I'm so glad I didn't, because I am so happy now. You can be happy too, just please don't kill yourself. Everything will be okay--I know that sounds false, but it really will.
ReplyDeletePlease call a suicide hotline or talk to someone and please don't kill yourself. If you do, you will break someone's heart out there and cause them incredible unbearable suffering. More than that, you will be denying yourself your chance at happiness if you kill yourself. Suicide is not worth it.
Happiness comes to everyone, eventually.
ReplyDeleteplease dont. i dont know you, but please, dont. look at all these people who want to help you out. one day you will find love. and in the meantime, find Jesus. he has the neverending love youre looking for. he will never leave you. he can help take away this monster thats killing you. please, and go to TWLOHA. youARE beautiful, i have no doubt about it.
ReplyDeletedont do this. im praying for you.
You are so young.
ReplyDeleteYou're too young for this.
I only have depression. I can't begin to imagine what life is like for you. But you're young, you can meet new people. It is not true that someone will never love someone with scars on her wrist, because I have those scars too and I know very deep down there is still hope.
Please, please don't go through with this.
I love you.
i have bpd too... idk you at all but i do know how it feels to not want to go on... and trust me there is light on the other side of the darkness... just hold on a little longer... PLEASE!
ReplyDeleteIm here for you if you ever randomly wanna talk cz us Coleman's gotta stick together ya know ;)
ReplyDeletePlease don't! just... don't.
ReplyDeleteDear Jade,
ReplyDeleteI don't know you, but I know that you will feel sorry if you kill yourself tonight. Please don't. You're beautiful. And life is hard, and tough. And I can't even imagine what you have had to go through. But fact is, when it rains and storms there wil be sun again. And I know this is so hard to believe. But it is true. I know that. When you're on the bottom of the wheel, the only way is up. And at least when you are in the gutter, you can look at the stars. I don't even know if these things make sense. But please, please don't kill yourself. I know your hurt, and you feel like you hurt other's, but I know that you will hurt them even more when you take your life away.
Please stay strong. There are so many people out here that care. I'm a complete stranger, and I care. I care a lot actually. Please don't do this. Please.
I just read this whole thing.. I don't know you. Nothing about you. But I know how it feels like to not want to go on and be depressed. I am too.. I can't say I know EXACTLY how you feel, but you have to be strong. Life throws a lot of harsh things at people not to feel miserable. It's a challenge. It's a lesson to be strong and stand on your own feet. People cares. Wether they've known you for so long or not even know you at all. There's billions of people living in this world.. You will hurt people and people will hurt you but you can't blame yourself. No one's perfect.
ReplyDeleteLoving yourself is the first step to finding happiness and being able to fight your battles and being strong. You can't give up. Please don't take all your pills. You will get through this. I know you will.. Keep fighting..
i don't know you, and i don't know what you're going through besides what you described above, but i do know that you're beautiful and you are important to me.
ReplyDeletePlease don't. You say that you're too young to be this miserable, but you're also too young to die.
ReplyDeleteKeep fighting. There are people reading your story all over the world and they're all thinking of you.
Email me? nataliee1992@live.co.uk <3
ReplyDeletedon't do this, too many people care.
Please don't do it.
ReplyDeleteThere's someone out there for you, who'll take care of you, and accept you for everything, flaws and all. Trust me.
You have to live. Please.
I may not know you but I do know how difficult and unfair life can be. The thing i've learned, however, is that no matter what any of us go through, it gets better one day. Maybe not as soon as we'd like. but there is always hope. Please don't do this, you deserve to live.
ReplyDeletePlease listen to Chloe- call 1-800-442-HOPE and talk to someone there. Please do not make this awful mistake. There will be new hope and new love for you. It just hasn't found you yet but it will. You have the power to turn this around. Please get help. Your parents will do anything for you. If you need to talk write to me at http://dormchic.tumblr.com/
ReplyDeletei have been crying for over an hour now, just reading this and the comments. i don't know you, and to be honest this is the first time i've ever heard of you..but i still would never want you to do this, i would never want to live knowing that you aren't. if your going to, then please take me with you. i can't bare to think of you hurting so much. i don't deserve to live, i'm not exactly the nicest of people or pretty at all. but i know how you feel, i understand. i'm there.
ReplyDeletedon't leave without me, please. i beg you. no one deserves to live like this, i know, but i don't want you to go alone. i don't want to wake up tomorrow and find out that you died. i don't want to be worrying for the next year about whether this attempt helped you or didn't. i don't want us all to be left here, without you..because i think that would be the hardest of all.
knowing how much we tried to help, but failed. and with all of our histories i don't think that would do much good to any one of us.
i'm not being selfish and neither are you, i don't understand why God made us all so malfunctional.
please don't go, don't take the easy route. stick it out...you'll find someone someday, and maybe...just maybe one of these days you'll find one of us.
and that, in my opinion, will be extra special.
Please tell us your address and we will send someone to help you. Please.
ReplyDeleteJade,
ReplyDeleteThe only sure way to fail is to not try. Never give up. If you end your life now nothing can ever get better. If you want to talk (sometimes talking to a stranger) can make everything feel better. Call me 814 - nine three three - 6417
This is the perfect time for you to start getting better. Carpe Diem - seize the day!
Hugs and Love,
Katie
Hello.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you, and I can't relate really well to what you're going through myself, but my father has struggled with depression for a long time. One of my very best friends has had depressed and she swallowed pills a few years back, trying to kill herself. And somehow, by the grace of God, these people pulled through and survived and made it through to the brighter side.
You can't see that brighter side right now, but it's there. If you give life a chance, you can make it through. I'm not promising that life is always going to be perfect and happy, because it's not, it is definitely a struggle. But I know people with depression who have gotten help and have made it through, and are living happily right now. Sometimes they have bad days, but they are doing so much better.
I am begging you from the bottom of my heart not to do this. I pray that it isn't too late. You said you got in a car crash and the car was totaled, and you should have died, but didn't. You said you never seem to die - THAT right there is a testament to the fact that you should be living - there is a purpose for you here!
I don't know if you believe in God, but I do with all my heart, and I know He loves you. Imagine that, someone loves you more that you could ever fathom. He loves you in that way that you've described above! That FOREVER love, the deepest kind of love. All of these comments are proof that there are people that love you. Please don't do this!!
You say that you're going to be 21 and it's too late to get help? It's never too late! My dad was an adult in his 40s when he started going to couseling and getting help. Trust me, it's never too late!
You said yourself that suicide won't make you happy. So please, please, don't do it. If you get serious, long-term help, you WILL feel happy.
I will be praying for you. Please give life a chance. I have never, and probably will never meet you, but I love and care about you. You are in my prayers.
I don't know who you are or even if this has blown over but the only thing I can tell you is that someone, somewhere, loves and cares about you. This isn't about them, it's about you. You owe it to yourself to give your life another chance- to learn how to love yourself. I believe you can do this- I believe in you. You deserve it. You deserve help. You deserve to live. And you deserve to live the rest of your life knowing that you've been to the bottom and then found your way back up and that you're so much stronger than it now.
ReplyDeletePlease, please don't do this. Please talk to someone. You owe it to yourself. It's never too late.
"I want to get better, I truly and honestly do." Then don't kill yourself.
ReplyDelete"All I want is to actually be important to someone on more than a "omg just friends" level." Then don't kill yourself.
" I just want to be loved." Then don't kill yourself.
"The sooner I'm gone, the better off everyone will be." Shut the fuck up, you're wrong. You don't know how much people care about you, how many people care about you, how much of an impact you've made on people's lives. You have no idea because people suck at showing it. I blame society.
"They always told me I won't amount to shit, and they are all right." Well you're a pretty good writer. You said you were 20, who amounts to anything at that age?? Maybe an alcoholic, a college kid, or a bum but not much at age 20.
"..but I'd rather feel nothing than to feel miserable, guilty, anger, stupid, etc." The one's who you've made an impact on would rather feel your presence not just in their dreams, hearts and minds.
"I want to be golden." who the fuck is golden?
"(for some reason I never die)." That's a sign
Do something with your life, fuck you are, you're writing a blog, write a fucking book about your struggles it will really help other's feel less alone.
"I'll always be taken advantage of." LIES.
"Nobody will ever love a girl with scars on her arm. Nobody will ever truly stay in love with me." People do love girls with scars on their arms. You are young, scars are not forever.
"I am a 20 year old girl." Nuff said.
Has someone called the police? Please tell out of the 1,000 of tumblr reblogs, someone called.
ReplyDeleteJade! don't do this!
ReplyDeleteemail me! icanflyhaha@yahoo.com
email me so I can give you my phone number! idc how long we talk... we can talk for days if you want! I'll fly out to virginia tonight if I have to! pleaseee let me help you! <3
Please, please don't. You're absolutely beautiful, God has a plan for you. Everything can break us, or we can choose to get stronger. Look at yourself in the mirror, and tell your illness that it can't break you. Look on the brightside of things. You can pull through this, and someday, you'll be so much stronger because of this. You have a purpose. I love you. <3
ReplyDeletePlease don't go through with this. I'm sure I have no idea of the pain you're going through or how it must feel like, but please, don't kill yourself.
ReplyDeleteGive life another chance, 'cause it's the only one you'll ever have.
Please choose to live.
I hope that at the very last minute, you stopped yourself.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't it say enough that so many STRANGERS have replied, crying, hoping and begging that you don't do this to yourself?
I don't know you, and everyone else has said those four words in every single reply. I don't know what you're going through. I'm sure my problems are worthless compared to what you're going through. But we all go through shit, right? Being this way doesn't mean you're weak, it means you've been strong for way too long. But you need support.
I hope that someone has helped you, and I hope that you give life a chance. I hope that you become happy <3
Similar to a lot of the other commenters here, I can't say that I know you. That's a disappointment because I just read your whole entry here and you seem like a really great, sweet, genuine girl who I would love to be friends with. These mental illnesses you described are all gravely serious, but they're not your fault. You can't blame yourself for the things THEY did. I know it must be really tough and miserable to think about going on with life, but really, even the most minute loss of life affects the whole world. I would be really, really saddened if you did this, I would grieve for you. I'm really praying that you haven't gone through with it by now, and that you've found the strength to pull ahead. I know you have it in you. I know you can do it. I may not know you, but I can say for sure that you deserve to be cared about and loved and happy. And you can be! You've just got to hold out. <333333
ReplyDeleteI don't know who you are or the pain that you go through in life, but it doesn't have to end here.
ReplyDeleteI WANT to know you and I WANT you to live. If your life ends here, I will wonder to myself, why didn't you stop her? I'll wonder whether or not you like the same shows I do or the same books I like. You might be just like me.
I don't want to pass up the chance to let a smart, beautiful woman know that is exactly who she is. You are not a bad person. You are a very good person who's had very bad things happen. There are people who love you out in the world and we may never get to meet you.
I hope you live so that love will reach you. It is out there.
Please don't do it! This has made me cry. I know you say that no one will care, but that is not true. What about your family? They will be hurt if you do. 20 years old is still young and you have your whole life to live. You never know unless you try. You're a beautiful girl!
ReplyDeleteGIRL, LIFE IS DIFFICULT, THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH MUCH WORSE DISEASES!!! YOU ARE STRONG! YOU KNOW IT! YOU ARE GOLDEN! MY GOD, YOU CAN!
ReplyDeleteDON0T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY!! YOU ARE JUST FINE THE WAY YOU ARE OK?
TAKE CARE GIRL, LOVE IS EVERYWHERE, AND WE ALL HAVE A MONSTER INSIDE.
Call ME Day OR Night. No matter what! I have all of that. My Mom does as well, and she is fifty, has seven kids, and is happy. You can get there. Facebook me: http://www.facebook.com/anthony.newhall
ReplyDeleteI know, you posted this awhile ago, but BE STRONG. My mom really wants to help you.
I can relate to your pain, and, even though we might never meet, I love you
ReplyDeleteGod, please don't kill yourself. Please. I lost my dad and my best friend and I think about suicide a lot, but I have to keep living. They'd want me to keep living. I want you to keep living.
ReplyDeletePlease don't kill yourself life is fucking beautiful. i know you are hurting but you can find something you love and someone to love. you cant give up. please your a beautiful soul and deserve to live.
ReplyDeletethere is more to you than your illness. I promise.
ReplyDeletei forgot to say. i love you and if you leave the world like this..well theres going to be chaos babe. we're all going to be so upset it'll probably kill us, we're just going to fall to pieces knowing none of us could help. i'd miss you so much Jade...and i don't even know you....yet i love you Jade, you've dealt with this for so long...and in my opinion, thats very strong. the strongest
ReplyDeletePlease don't do it.
ReplyDeleteThere are people out there who WILl love you and care about you, you just haven't met them YET!
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, DON'T GIVE UP <3
I don't know you, but I just want you to know, if you're reading this that you shouldn't kill yourself. Sometimes in life things don't seem right but you have to understand that life can't be ALL good or ALL bad! There HAS to be some balance! That's just the way it works!! Please, there are already so many people who would be devastated if you were to kill yourself, and I don't even know you! Don't say that people will live their lives and not even care that you dies! It's not true, I assure you! Stay strong, my thoughts and prayers are with you! <3
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say. I don't know how to say how important you are to this world, even if you don't think you are. We all have a roll, we all have something we are meant to do that will change the world, whether it's a big thing, or a small thing. We all have a purpose, we all have a great value, even if it doesn't seem like it. Life's a bitch, because if it was easy, it would be a slut. When we feel like there's no hope left, that's when we have to stand up and fight it. The thing is, we never have to fight it alone. Look at all these comments. Look at all these people, who don't even know you, but care about you and love you as if they have known you for their whole lives. If words can't help you, then maybe this can:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-kHleNYIDc&ob=av2el
That is the link to the song "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls. It gave me hope through my depression, and I've always felt like there's magic in that song. It always gave me hope, always made me think, that maybe I'd have a chance at better days. Although my problems are nothing compared to yours, I hope the song does the same for you. I hope that you can find better days. My name is Andrew, and I love you Jade, you will be in my prayers tonight.
Don't do it. Trust me, it's not worth it. There's tons more places to get help. I have BPD too. It took me awhile to find a place, but I found one. And I know you can too! <3
ReplyDeletePlease don't do this :S
ReplyDeleteThis is not a solution. I understand that right now it may seem the only way to escape, but you have a future ahead of you, and you don't know how wonderfull it can be!
I can't begin to understand what you're feeling right now, but you have to remember that you have people who truly love you, and care for you, and can help you with everything that's going on with your life.
You care about people, and you don't want to hurt them; you seem like a wonderfull person to me, you can't just give up. YOU CAN'T. Please dont do this. Think about this as a difficult period that's going to make you stronger! I'm sure you have a beautiful future ahead of you, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.
I don't know you, but I love you. You're beautiful. Please don't do it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePlease don't. Please, please, please, talk to someone, call a hotline for help, let people in your life know you are feeling this way and let them help you. You say you want someone who will love you. All these people, asking you not to do this--that's an outpouring of love. And I know some people may find this an intrusive comment, but I believe in God, and I believe He has a love for you that is forever. When people let you down, He is there to listen. And I know you probably don't believe that because why would he make your life hurt so much? Honestly that's teh big question--why do we suffer? The story of humanity is, sometimes, a story of brokenness and pain, but please, consider the possibilities. Consider healing and love. Consider that it can happen to you, that it happens to so many who think it's impossible. You can get through this and one day be a beacon of light to others who are also struggling. Please, seek out people who have the same issues as you do. You'll see you aren't alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying that you see that tough times don't make you a failure, that whatever phase of life you're in won't last forever, that beautiful things might just be on your horizon.
I don't know you but I read a note on my Tumblr about you. I just wanted to say that even though I have never had a mental illness I have had depression and I know that it is the toughest thing to get back on your feet. You are not worthless. I felt that way about myself for a long time and then after years I thought "hey! there is so much beauty in the world! why would I try to get away from it all?" I know that there is also ugliness in the world, that there is evil. Nothing is easy. Life is not easy. But it's the difficult choices in life that are truly worth it in the end. And this should not be the end of your life, not because I say so, or because anyone else says so. I believe that you wrote that letter for a reason, for people to see. And it might sound cliche, but I believe that you really don't want to leave this world. Not yet. You want to live. It's a cry for help and I know it because I did that too. I hurt the person that loved me the most too, I've done terrible things. I know that you feel you can't go on, that there is too much pain in the world. But think about all the cool stuff in life! You are so young, there are many people with mental illnesses who get through it and yeah it takes a while and a lot of effort. But it's worth it. Please, reconsider. Your life matters to me and all these people that have taken the time to comment on your letter. Realize there are people who care. Not everyone will push you away.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Anna
Don't give up.
ReplyDeletePlease, don't do this. PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you, i'm from Brazil, and i just can't stop crying. My dad killed himself and was only 3 YEARS OLD, my brother was 1!!!!! and this is the most sad thing that ever happened to me, he was sick, this fucking disease is SHIT I KNOW! But PLEASE don't kill yourself. PLEASE JUST DON'T, I'M DESPERATE. I CAN'T CALL POLICE CAUSE IM FROM BRAZIL BUT PLEASE PLEASE SOMEONE IN VIRGINIA CALL THE POLICE! DON'T KILL YOURSELF! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG, YOU HAVE TIME, YOU'LL KNOW SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, I'M TELLING YOU.
PLEASE DON'T HURT PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU!!! I SWEAR OF GOD IF MY DAD HAD THINK ABOUT HIM, ABOUT HIS FAMILY, ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED HIM JUST A LITTLE MORE TODAY HE WOULD BE HERE, WITH HIS FAMILY. MY MOM IS THE SADDEST PERSON THAT I'VE MET BECAUSE OF WHAT MY DAD DID. SO PLEASE, DON'T HURT PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU, DON'T HURT YOURSELF, JUST DONT, I'M BEGGING YOU. MY ENGLISH IS TERRIBLE BUT IM DOING MY BEST I'M BEGGING YOU PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF.
I don't know you, I've never even seen your blog before, but I was lead here by a post on Tumblr and I want to ask you, no, BEG YOU, please don't do this!
ReplyDeletePlease, I promise you that no matter how bad life gets, there is always HOPE. There will always be someone here for you, someone to make it a little better. Suicide is NOT NOT NOT the answer! My step-father has tried to kill himself multiple times, he struggle with unknown health problems and it damn near destroyed him... So believe me, I've witnessed how tough life can be & I understand that you feel like you have no other options. But that isn't true.
You said, "I'm such a nice, sweet, honest girl" and I truly believe that, just from reading this one post of yours. And with being a nice, sweet, honest girl, I can guarantee that there are tons of people in your life who would be devastated at the thought of losing you =[
But I'm not asking you not to kill yourself for anyone elses sake, I'm asking & begging you not to kill yourself FOR YOU. Your life is far too valuable to just be thrown away...
I know we are complete strangers, but if you need someone, anyone to just sit and listen, you can talk to me anytime.
My livejournal is xoheartinohioxo.livejournal.com
I'm on fanpop as xoheartinohioxo
My email is lilangeldiva0202@msn.com
I would even be willing to give you my phone number if you contact me through one of those places. Just please, PLEASE reconsider this.
In the meantime, I will keep you in my thoughts & I sincerely pray that life gets easier for you.
-Holly
i was nly 3 years old*
ReplyDeleteemail me. please.
ReplyDeletelaurenvey@gmail.com
if you're not alive, i hope you've found peace.
I value and love all the good and beautiful human beings in this world; and that includes you, it would be a shame to lose a precious life. You've been strong enough so far so please continue to be strong and find the help you need. You have to believe that with help everything will fall into place and you can still be happy in the future Please don't do it.
ReplyDeleteDon't do something regrettable like this. Suicide is never the problem. No matter how bad like might suck there is always help. Call the hotline for suicide prevention. Talk to someone, work it out. Don't be selfish and kill yourself because people will be hurt if you did something that bad. You mean the world to some people and ending life would only hurt them worse. It's not your time to leave. Greater things have yet to come, and greater things still to be done.
ReplyDeletesweetheart. you are loved. you feel alone. you are not. you don't have to believe it, but please read these comments. we need you here. you have touched me in this little snippet of time.
ReplyDeleteyou will feel better. maybe not today, tomorrow, but this will pass. you have so much love to experience. so much bliss so soak in. don't short yourself of that opportunity.
begging you to reach out to any of us.
sending you all of my support and love,
katie
Please, please don't. You're too young to give up on love and on people. I'm a thousand percent sure that there's someone out there who will love you exactly as you are. Forever. Life is so fucking hard, but also beautiful and meaningful. Don't let it go. Every life is important. Don't you ever doubt that. It's not your fault you have a personality disorder and you'll get better at dealing with it. You'll meet people that are better fit and more reliable than to leave you during a rough patch. For no one, but yourself...keep living.
ReplyDeleteYou really shouldn't do it. I don't have your disease, and I will probally never know the pain that you are and have gone through. But I have thought about suicide, but I did not given. You can always kill yourself later, why now? What is so horrible today, that makes you want to give up every tomorrow?
ReplyDeleteYou might never read this. You might have already succeeded. You might not even be serious here, and you just wanted a good laugh out of everyone on tumblr and blogspot. I hope you get what your looking for.
please do not kill yourself (if you haven't already). I don't even know you, but your post has over 2,000 notes on Tumblr and I just saw it. I feel heartbroken and I've never even SEEN your Tumblr until now. things get better. me, a stranger, that's never even talked to you or even lurked on your pages, cares so fucking much. please don't do this.
ReplyDeleteDon't do this Jade,
ReplyDeleteI know that you're in incredible pain right now, but it will be better, you just have to be alive to see it.
Please, we're all here for you. We're all rooting for you. You can do this. Just wait - tomorrow you might feel better. Just a little bit better. Enough to make it to the day after tomorrow. And the day after that. You are beautiful and wonderful, and you can recover from this hurt.
You matter.
Love Erin.
You are only 20. You have not yet begun to live. You won't even be a person who truly knows herself until about 25. Wait until then, stick it out. Then, if you still feel the same ... but I doubt you will. There's too much in this world waiting out there for you. You are very articulate, most people can't put words together like you can -- there are great things out there for you to achieve, love and romance be damned. Think only of yourself now, worry about others later. Get help. Eat what you love. Listen to your fave songs. Masturbate. Remind yourself of all there is to live for ... and live.
ReplyDeletelmfao damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn bitch u crazy
ReplyDeleteI hope that you're alright. If didn't get here in time. But...
ReplyDeleteI can't say that I, myself, know how you're feeling but...
I watched people go through it.
I pray the best for you and I pray that God touches your heart.
He helped me get through my depressed days, and let me tell you, they weren't that pretty, either.
I hope you haven't killed yourself. There are many people out there that are willing to love you and hope the best for you.
Even strangers on the internet like myself.
Nonethless, I prayed for your soul. <3
All my love,
Charlie
you are beautiful, you are worth it. please don't do what you're considering. i know you think differently, but you will be missed. and i know you think we're just a bunch of strangers, and maybe we are. but we love you and we want you around, and we're terrified of losing you. i can't say i know how you feel because only you know how you feel, but i also have depression and i struggle to hang on sometimes. please, don't let go. we can do this together, okay? please, think again. your life is worth so much.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I just want to say don't do it.
ReplyDeleteI mean, you're gonna think 'who are you to tell me not to do something?' And you're right. But just to let you know, no matter whats wrong with you, you're perfect and lovely and belong in this world.
I don't have a mental illness. But I have tourettes, and I know what it's like to not be able to control what your brain thinks/does. And I know what it's like when you don't feel like yourself. When you can't control what you do.
But theres people you can talk to, people who go through the same thing. I know theres nothing you can do to stop it happening, but people will understand.
We've all been broken, bullied and lost. But hey, it's fine to feel like that. And do you know what? Your life is worth 1000000 times more than some mean, ignorant bully of a person on this planet.
I hope you're still here. And I hope that you realize that you are worth something, even if you do hate and feel pain all the time!
<3 Joelle
If you end your life, you'll never know what could have been, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now, but if you end this, you're denying yourself the opportunity to live, a chance to try, anything... many people are holding to a thread of life... and you're throwing the towel... please reconsider. Think of everything you ever dreamed of doing, and what you'll never have a chance to do if you do this. Please please please reconsider. Please.Choose to live.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you.. but I'm begging you, please, don't do this. I'm not going to be naive and say that I know exactly what you're going through because, quite honestly, I don't. You may feel like you're trapped, hurt, in pain and that there's no way to get over these feelings. But there is, things can always get better. They WILL get better. You may feel like this, right now. But there's a strong chance that, in the future, you'll feel better. More alive. And that can't happen if you go through with your plans. Please, don't do it.
ReplyDeleteAlthough you may feel worthless, you're not. There are so many people who love you and care about you, that you probably don't even realise it. You might not be able to see it but we all have our place in this world. We may have to go through a lot of shit but the time will come when things will get better. You probably don't believe me but I'm telling the truth. During the times when we feel at our weakest, we have to fight to BE at our strongest. Please don't give up hope. Things will get better.
You are strong. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are loved. YOU CAN FIGHT THROUGH THIS. Don't give up hope. You are a fighter and will not let society win.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please, don't do it. <3
What you need God can give you :) really
ReplyDeleteHe gave it to me.
Just read 1 Pete 5:7
<3 I love you and so does He.
He loves you no matter what... no matter what. Always, forever.
Please do not do this.
ReplyDeleteI've thought about suicide a lot, too. When i feel that no one loves me, or the pain is just stabbing me with 1000 knives. I always stop right before because i start thinking about the amazing and great moments that have made life great. I think about the people who would possibly miss me. About the life i could've had.
I found this through a website where THOUSANDS of people are reblogging that care about YOU and dont want you to commit suicide.
That means there are people out there that you don't know and that don't know you that CARE. about YOU.
Things will get better eventually.
You won't be in a dark hellhole forever. I promise.
Just keep staying strong.
please do not commit suicide.!
Love, Hayley.
hi jade, i just left a comment on your tumblr, and i sincerly hope you read it. above all of this crap, Jesus wants to help you. Call out to Him. please. Just ask him to prove himself to you, and HE WILL. I am praying for you girl.
ReplyDeletelove,
Emma Donohue
emmapink13@gmail.com
www.mypaperlilly.tumblr.com
There are so many people on here who don't know you, myself included, but all care about you. Maybe you can't see how wonderful you are, but I guarantee there is always someone out there who can. Everyone on here can. You matter. You ARE important. Things can and will change. I will listen to you if you ever want to talk to me, I promise.
ReplyDeleteDon't. Not when there are butterflies, and sleeping in, and nice breezes and crying while reading a sad novel or watching a happy film, or closing your eyes when you smell something that reminds you of someone.
ReplyDeleteBe curious.
Jade, please don't do this to yourself. You're right, you're so young, and you don't deserve to have to deal with these things in your life, but suicide isn't the answer. You have no idea how many people care about you, how many people would be completely devastated if you were gone from their lives. No, I don't know you, but I know you're so much better than this, you're only 20, you still have so much to live for. Even if it didn't work out in your last relationship, I promise you'll find someone out there. Yes, I promise, because you're beautiful, and you're an amazing person, and right now somewhere out there is thinking about you, and someone out there loves you more than you could possibly imagine. You say you've attempted killing yourself before, but it never seems to work; maybe it's because you're not meant to go yet, you still have your whole life ahead of you and so much to do. You still have so many opportunities in life, don't throw it all away. I understand that you're in pain right now, I've struggled with depression myself, and sometimes killing yourself could be tempting, but you can't. So many people out there love you, people you never even knew existed are begging you to stay, people on Tumblr are blogging about this, asking for people to help you. And all of this is because you're worth it, your life is worth it, and we care.
ReplyDeleteIt gets better; from my own experiences, I've battled with depression and self harm, I'm still a kid myself and no one has been able to help me. But I keep on hoping that tomorrow will be better, and sometimes I'm right.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the strength/reason to continue.
You seem like a pretty damn awesome person from your tumblr and the world needs awesome people like you.
Please, you dont know me, but please just dont do it. You're too young to die now, think of all that you would be missing out on. Go with God and let him help you. Ask and you shall recieve. Put your life in his hands, and ask for help, he will help you. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS <3
ReplyDeleteI don't know you. But honey, its almost impossibe to kill yourself on most depression meds alone and do you really want to spend 3 days throwing your guts up and looking stupid?
ReplyDeleteLife might suck ass, you might be alone now, but one day there will be at least one person who becomes totally infatuated with you. I promise. Chin up, put down the pills, go get some really unhealthy food and sit and watch some mindless tv. I swear its so much better for you than cutting or suicide.
please don't die.
ReplyDeletei don't know you...i can't say i know exactly how you feel or that i could possibly comprehend what you go through and feel. i do know what it's like to have a mental illness, not normal is normal for me. i know you want to die... but please don't.
this is from a movie..but i hope it helps...
Sometimes I think we live through things only to be able to say that it happened. That it wasn't to someone else, it was to me. Sometimes we live to beat the odds. I'm not crazy even though they thought I was. I live in the same world as everyone else. I just saw more of it, as I'm sure you have. They'll find my body tomorrow. You can check it out if you don't believe me. I've seen life after my death, and I'm telling you this because it's the only way to help you and your daughter have a better life of your own. Jean, you're gonna pass out one day smoking a cigarette and burn to death. Your daughter grows up living the same life you're living right now. And she misses you so much. Sometimes life can only really begin with the knowledge of death. That it can all end, even when you least want it to. The important thing in life is to believe that while you're alive, it's never too late. I promise you, Jean, no matter how bad things look, they look better awake than they do asleep. When you die, there's only one thing you want to happen. You wanna come back.
much love.
s
Hi. I don't know you. I've never met or talked to you. But I know exactly what it feels like. I know what it is to want to die. I've never experienced BPD, but I've battled depression and self-harm, and these demons have, at times, made me think that life never gets better. That this is all the world has to offer. That no one will ever love you. But I was SO WRONG. There is so much MORE to this world! You have SO MUCH ahead of you, even if you can't see it right now. Someday, I guarantee that you WILL find peace, and you WILL find someone who loves you. Honey, so many people love you, even now - I mean, look at all the comments above me! You are a TREASURE, you are PRECIOUS. You are worth more than any person can ever tell you.
ReplyDeleteDon't leave the world, because you are such a beautiful part of it. There are so many people who care about you.
i dont think you are not normal. you are as normal as everyone is.
ReplyDeleteyou want all the things that people seek also. you want to be loved and treated right, and you want something real and not a copy.
but if you die now....you might not see all the good that is coming your way
Cause life cant just be one way road....there are always bumps...but its the sunset at the end of the road or your destination that gives us hope.
There are many more things to come...both good and bad. But it is worth it,
Cause when you wake up tommorow and you will it will all seem less important.....maybe the sun or the weather, or the things that surround may seem the same but you are not
hold on there....some things are really worth waiting for!
Jade! Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me!
ReplyDeletePlease don't do this.Trust me, every word you said in that letter I've said many times before as well. I'm 17, and 3 years ago I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. Then, a year later, my boyfriend who I loved with all my heart, raped me. The past 2 years have been utter hell. I've cut far too many times to count, overdosed on multiple occasions, and ended up in two mental hospitals. In all that time, I've lost all my friends and all the respect I ever had for my family because they can't understand a thing I go through.I've been diagnosed with PTSD because of my rape and have a extremely difficult time dealing with it all. I wouldn't even say I struggle daily, because days don't seem like days when you're emotionally suffering. Hours seem like days. It's horrible. On top of that, I even stopped taking all of my meds in Aug. because I was doing decent for a few weeks. As you probably know, that wasn't the smartest thing I could've done. But I did it. For the first two months I was having constant ager blowouts. But by November, I started calming down.I haven't cut since Oct. and though my anger is something I struggle with, it's getting so much better. My depression hasn't really held me down lately like it used to. I see purpose for myself now and it's amazing.
ReplyDeleteI guess I just told you that so you could understand that even though I don't have BPD, I feel more or less the same pain you do. I am so, terribly sorry you have to endure the things life has thrown at you. But, you really can get through this. I promise that in time, things will even out. This is something that unfortunately we can't eliminate from our lives, but we can make the best of it. I know it is so hard to do, believe me. I have been to the bottom so many times. You may not know me in real life, but I will always be here for you. I already love you to death and I hope you can read this one day. I hope you can be able to be happy. As for the boy, I don't know if he was "the one", but I can give you some advice. The one thing that I consider to be "good" about being what I have been through is that my guard is constantly up when it comes to guys. Maybe that's good, maybe it's not. But, even though you're 20, you're still so young to be so caught up in a guy. I'm sure you love(d) him, and I'm so sorry for the pain and guilt you feel over the relationship. But, you need someone who can understand your illness. Someone who will give you the benefit of the doubt in situations like that, and who will hear your point of view on things. Maybe even someone who doesn't have a girl friend that you get jealous over. He is out there. You have so much ahead of you. And, You ARE worth it. I mean that with every bone in my body. I don't care if you're the ugliest, fattest, most stupidest girl on the planet; You are worth so much. You are going to make so many people happy in your life, don't you want that? Don't you want a good future? A husband? Maybe even kids? Just because you have scars (metaphorically and literally), doesn't mean you can't have an amazing life. That's like telling me and millions of other people we can't be happy because we used to/still cut. Fuck haters. Fuck bullies. Fuck anyone who doesn't put in the effort to try to understand the unfortunate, helpless people like us. And Jade, you ARE strong. You've already made it 6 years through hell, and look at you. You may be at rock bottom now, but you can get through this. If I did, anyone can. I love you. <3
Somehow, some way, I hope you are still here. I wish nobody ever felt this way. My best friend tried to kill himself. Pulled the trigger, but the bullet didn't fire. You can see the indention in the primer on the bullet. Another friend of mine's brother hung himself. A kid just after high school hung himself. Though you may not realize it, you will be hurting so many people by doing this. You are loved and cared about. I only wish you could see it.
ReplyDeletePlease don't do it.
ReplyDeleteI lost my cousin over 3 months ago, she committed suidide.
And every. Single. Day. I cry myself to sleep. It hurts me so much that she left me. She was my role model and the person I looked up to the most. She didn't think about how it effected me, and that kills me inside.
Suicide doesn't just kill one person. It kills everyone you know, and everyone you have impacted.
Whether you believe it or not you are so full of worth, and are loved more than you could ever know. You are cared about by more than you might think. I care, so much.
Who ever told you life wasn't worth the fight? Because it is. Find something or someone worth living for. I promise you better days will come. And there are people who love YOU for YOU.
Don't forget that you are cared for and loved more than you could EVER KNOW!
*A kid I knew just after high school...
ReplyDeletePlease, please, please don't do this.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to try and pretend I know how you feel, because I don't. I know there are people posting here who genuinely do and it is probably worth listening to them more than me, but I couldn't not leave a message here.
I know that the world seems like a pretty awful place right now, and I can't imagine what it's like having that going on inside your own mind too. But there are so many things worth living for. I want to know you. I will be so so sad if you leave and I didn't even know who you were until I saw an appeal on Tumblr for your life.
That's right. People care enough that everyone is passing on the message that you're at the end of your tether and need help. I've never felt so strongly about anything in my life than this.
Please, don't kill yourself. I love you. WE love you. There's such an outpouring of love and hearts here that it's hard not to cry knowing we're all from different parts of this planet and yet we all have something - or rather, someONE - in common. And that's you.
None of us could stand it if you left. So please, please. Stay.
hey, i'm crazy too. social anxiety, major depressive order, self mutilation, had an eating disorder and maybe i have bpd. i don't know, i don't remember what they said was wrong with me. i know how it feels to feel like shit and BE shit, have people reject you, and hate yourself every day for every little thing that you've ever done to get you in the hole you're in now. but. cleaning up and fixing yourself takes time. the months drag on, and every day seems to get worse, but one day you realize that things are actually better than before. i used to think about dying everyday, and i loved the thought of it, but i don't anymore. no one got me help when i was younger either because no one ever believed me when i said there was something wrong with me. but once everything fell to pieces, i got to start over and put my life back together again. sometimes you need that pain to help you start anew. i'm asking you to reconsider. maybe you dont really have what you need to get better, but you can find it. you'll only be normal if you live. you can only be golden if you live. and i know how that sounds like a load of crap right now, but i'm telling you that you're wrong if you think that you'll never be happy. i used to be where you are now.
ReplyDeletePlease think about this. You are entirely too young to be so jaded to not see the light. Mental illnesses are terrible and seem like you have no way to escape them but there is always a way. You have to work though trial and error with doctors and medicines and counselors. It takes a lot of time to find the right people to surround yourself with and to weed out the negative influences. This breaks my heart into a million pieces. All of these comments prove that there is more positivity out there than negativity and for people, like me, who don't even know you but who have read this and are worried for your safety to go out of their way to try to contact you is saying something. I hope you fail, and I hope you wake up somewhere safe and that you get the treatment you deserve because life is entirely too beautiful to quit.
ReplyDeleteFind me on tumblr and we can talk, lolosweetheart.tumblr.com
please don't go. you are loved, and it WILL get better.
ReplyDeleteI was lead here through a post on Tumblr, and I'm saying please don't do it!
ReplyDeleteThere will be someone who will listen to you and accept that you are a nice person with BPD.
If you need anything from me, and I mean anything, contact me through any of these:
email: jayyymart@gmail.com
Tumblr: wickedfanzel.tumblr.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/WickedDreams
Twitter: http://twitter.com/rentheadfanzel
Take a though about this please, I know I don't know you and I bet the last thing you want to hear is someone say is "I know what's like." I'm not here to tell you that, I'm here to tell you to not do this. Believe it or not there are people that are going to miss you. I used to think the way you did, I used to slit my wrist and hope that I bled to death, but I stopped myself. I knew that if I were to die people would miss me. You have to believe the same thing. You can't off your self, please don't. This isn't the answer. If you off your self you're only going to hurt everyone around you that knew you. When you think negative you get negative occurrences in your life. You have to try and believe in your self. Please, we all here bed you not to, please.
ReplyDelete-Astrid.
almost one year ago one of my best friends killed himself. it felt out of the blue. we don't know why either still.
ReplyDeletePEOPLE CARE. YOU DO MATTER. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY I PROMISE YOU. IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, TALK TO ME. I JUST SAW THIS ON MY TUMBLR and i hope you're okay. i hope you thought things through and how stupid taking your own life is. i promise everything is going to be okay. i just hope you realize that in time.
Please, don't do it! My friend killed himself 4 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think of him and miss him. IT CAN BE BETTER YOU just need to talk to someone professional! I don't think you are thinking straight right now because you are upset and you have every right to be. Just give life another chance, ok?? You are loved!!
ReplyDeleteYouc an still get help, i know it's shitty, and nothing is instant you have to wait and continue to do it. Everything takes time, none of this is worth killing yourself over
ReplyDeleteA lo mejor si tuvieras la suficiente fuerza y valentia ya hubieras hecho esto y no hubieras tenido que armar tanto escandalo.
ReplyDeleteYa que lo hiciste, aun estas a tiempo de recapacitar, puede que unos dias uno este mal, pero no todo el tiempo debe ser asÃ
No te conozco, es mas no se porque estoy escribiendo esto, pero de corazón piensa con cabeza frÃa las cosas y decide lo mejor, a lo mejor ya ni leeras esto, pero si lo haces piensa mejor las cosas.
Por cierto, fui redirigida aqui por tu tumblr, soy de Colombia y como muchos queremos que evites algo que no tendrá reversa.
Drop me a line when you get back!
ReplyDeleteI've never even met you and I don't want you to die!
ReplyDeleteThere are people who care about you , even people who don't even know you personally. So please don't do this.
People love you <3
No matter what you think, you are loved. Even if people you knew personally walked out, look at all these comments. I don't know you, but I love you. Honestly. I LOVE YOU!!! My family has been torn apart by mental illness, and I know how impossible and terrifying it can seem. A friend of mine killed himself a few years ago, thinking that no one loved or understood him. He couldn't have been more wrong. My friends and I and his family were absolutely devastated. Despite how alone and monstrous he felt, we loved him. If only he could have seen it.
ReplyDeleteI've been battling with depression for my entire life. My father was bipolar and abusive, and my depressed and downtrodden mother finally divorced him when I was six. At this point my father attempted to kill himself. My sisters also are bipolar and we have brutalized each other physically and emotionally. After my friend killed himself, I started cutting. I was disgusted with myself, but I needed to bleed. My older sister became addicted to a multitude of drugs and started drinking. I felt isolated beyond belief. It took years, but, somehow, everything is reasonably bearable now. My sisters and I get along and my father is so much a better person after getting help.
No matter how much the odds seem to be stacked against you, things will get better. Please trust me when I tell you you're not unlovable. My father seemed to be the most monstrous person alive for what he did, yet he's still loved. Now we know that he's not the monster; his mental illness is to be blamed. He could not help it any more than my friend can help the fact that she was born with diabetes. If you live anywhere in the Midwest, I'm dead serious when I say that I'm ready to find you and be your friend and love you no matter what happens. You're not a monster. You're caring and intelligent and beautiful. You deserve to have a full and happy life, and there are a multitude of people who are more than willing to stand by you and be your friend no matter what happens.
No matter how much you hate the world, no matter how much you hate yourself, there are answers that are better than death.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me. There are people that love you. I love you, for crying out loud. There are people who would be a wreck if you were gone. There is a reason we are all on this Earth, I promise you, even if you don't see it now. And if you're feeling alone, know that the world can be a lonely place but it would be lonelier without you in it
-Hayley Williams.
You are beauiful.
Please don't do it. You're such a brave person to let us know this and I know you're a beautiful girl. Now I have tears on my throat. I have depression now because of my parents and I've used to cut my arms and legs. I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and a bit of bipolarity. i know it's shitty and stuff but you still can get help, never is late. I'm writting this from heart. Don't do it. Please. If you want to talk about anything, don't doubt it and talk to me:
ReplyDeleteMSN: ktita_lenda@hotmail.com
email: hellyeahcata@hotmail.com
Tumblr: catamars.tumblr.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Cata.is.like.woah.xD
Twitter: http://twitter.com/CataMars
I know nothing I'll say here hasn't already been said, but I'm one more person saying to please, do not kill yourself. You can survive, you were strong enough to get this far, imagine how much farther you could be.
ReplyDeleteA girl at my school committed suicide some years ago, and it's haunted me ever since. She was so happy, outgoing, forgiving, the definition of a good person, and yet she didn't want to stay alive and to keep spreading that joy to anyone who met her. Imagine what you could miss out on if you go now.
I contemplated suicide in middle school, attempted it, but something stopped me. Whether it was God, instinct, or cowardice, I may never know, but I didn't. And a few years later, I met the love of my life. I had never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss, and neither had he- and he was nearly an adult! We've been together ever since; we know each other's demons inside and out, and neither of us are afraid of tomorrow. And we're both happy we survived and waited.
If you are still here and can read this, I hope it can help. I'd be happy to talk to you and help you, be your friend or your shoulder, if you want. Just know that if you think no one else cares... you are mistaken, for I do.
you have no idea what effect this will have on the people who love you. there ARE people out there who love you and killing yourself will SHATTER their fucking world. i tell you this because i have known many people who took themselves away from me and everything crumbled. think about your family. how this will effect them. their lives will forever be filled with a sadness and emptiness that they won't ever get back. use your noggin. somebody out there loves you. i love you. and i hope you don't take all of your pills. there is always someone to talk to. including me. you can find me on tumblr at whoresdoeuvres.tumblr.com
ReplyDeleteDon't do it!!! There is so much to live for, think of everyone you're hurting by doing this to yourself. Please don't do this. You're young and you've got a long life ahead of you. Don't end it, please.
ReplyDeletePlease don't! I don't want you to, & that may be selfish but it shouldn't matter. So many of these people don't know you but they want you to *live*, you mean something to each & every one of us! You are beautiful & brave, so many people love you & no-one, *no-one* wants you to do this.
ReplyDeleteI hardly know you, I hardly know your situation, but honestly I'm begging you, do NOT commit suicide. It gets better. Life gets better.
ReplyDeleteWhat... all I'm going to say is if '20 years old' is too young, try 15. You've at least had the CHANCE to fall in love, you had the pleasure of experiencing that. you learned from it, and so what if it ended badly? It still HAPPENED. I'll never get the chance to fall in love or anything. If this guy was so great, why not apologize or something, rather than taking what great thing you had and ask for more? Suicide isn't selfish, if aything, THAT's selfish.
ReplyDeleteDon't kill yourself and place the guilt on those around you, don't make them QUESTION whether it was their own fault that made you break. All you'll do is make everyone feel guilty and attract attention. That's the only reason I'm still alive to this day.
So what if it takes a while, if you try, it will eventually turn out alright.
suicide isn't weak or selfish, really, but it does hurt people whether they cared for you or not.
I don't believe in God or anything, he won't 'help you,' but you can help yourself. If the pills do or don't kill you, it's not 'meant to be,' it's the random odds. Don't let those odds decide for you.
You think you're only hurting yourself.
ReplyDeleteBut you're hurting everyone around you.
People who don't even know you.
Don't do it.
Please.
one thing that I've learned from my previous experiences is that, if you tell yourself something, over and over and over, it becomes true. Even if it's a lie.
ReplyDeleteI won't judge you for thinking about suicide because, hey, 3 days I was this close to do it. I mean, reeeally close ( because I go to med school, I know ways one can comite suicide being fast and with almost no pain). I could do it easily, since I no one (not even my parents) were concerned about where I stand in their new lives ( answer= i stand nowhere). And sometimes, those dark times, let me tell you, I still consider doing it.
But everytime I thought about how I don't fit in the world anymore, there was this kinda repulse-reactive thought. People can be mean to you? You can be meaner. People can hurt you? You can turn around,get over, and show to them how happy you can be, no matter what they do. Sure, the world is a scary place, I thought, but I can be scarier.
It isn't something I'm used to think (I've been struggling with this since I was 12- I'm 19 [hey, maybe we can celebrate our birthdays together- april 18th). But I've been repeating that to myself since I was 15, and it works. Because, honestly, I'm not afraid of anything now.
Things may seem very dark and with no solution, but you'll see how great life can be if you give it a chance. Of course, there are dark moments even when the sun seems to shine to its brightest, but it gets better. I promise.
and if you ever want to talk, about anything, my im adress is : gabby_carol_malta@hotmail.com
(part 1)
ReplyDeleteJade-
I don't know you personally, and that is truly my loss, because from reading this, you are a terrifically beautiful, real, honest, and loving human being. You may be different than what's "normal," but isn't everyone in their own ways? My friend was a severe alcoholic for most of his life, and he almost went through with his own suicide a few years ago. If he had succeeded, I would have never met him, and I would have never had him to credit for some of the most amazing moments of my life. My teacher talked about his past once, and his struggles with severe depression. If he had succeeded in killing himself, he wouldn't have inspired and given hope to the hudreds of students that he's taught over the years. They were both in such a dark place, but they pulled through. They're not only surviving, they're thriving. There's always a silver lining, even if you can't see it at the moment. All it takes is time, and trust me, when you finally arrive at the place where you were meant to be, happy, free, full of life and love, you'll look back on this blog post and think to yourself, "What if that had really happened? What if I had died that night? I would have missed out on all of these amazing things, I wouldn't have met my real best friends, I wouldn't have met my husband, I wouldn't have experienced life at its fullest. I could have missed all of that..."
Try to take a step back. Wait a little while longer. See how you feel tomorrow morning. Think about the big picture, don't look at the little details that are bringing you down.
If you kill yourself, everybody who has commented on this post, everybody who has talked to you on tumblr, facebook, wherever, will change. They'll see everything differently. Just hearing your name, or hearing somebody else talk about suicide will burn their mind with memories. They'll think to themselves, "What could I have done? What didn't I do that I could have done?" They will constantly question themselves, wondering if they said the right words, wondering if they could have done something more. Everything you did, they'll think, "I should have known, I could have helped..." Your family and the people that are closest to you will likely go into a depression like the one that claimed your life. Think about the people you've met in your life. The people that work at the local grocery store or gas station you go to, the people that may not know you personally or even by name, but that see you around town every now and then. Think of your classmates. That girl that sat in the front of your class, she'll remember you. The bus driver you saw every morning, he'll remember you. That little girl you sat by you at lunch once, the kid you hung out with at the park, all your siblings' friends, friends of your parents, families and parents and neighbors who live by you. All of them will remember you. And every single one of them will wonder, "Why?"
(part 2)
ReplyDeleteBut imagine your family. You are part of them. Without you, something is missing. Something is off. That's not how it's been for the past 20 years. If you kill yourself, then part of them dies too. They are incomplete. Every family gathering will be missing something. The photos on the wall are suddenly all cold reminders of what you did. Think about the doctors and the paramedics that arrive by ambulance at your house, trying desperately to pump the life back into your lungs. Who goes through your bedroom? Who cleans out your locker? Who calls the school to tell them one of their students has died? Who tells the teachers? Who tells the students? Who calls the funeral directors? Who arranges a coffin for you? Who finds the body? Who calls the boy you trusted with so much to tell him that you're dead? I know you might not think he would care, but he would. A guy like that, he would. Even if you two have cut your relationship short, even if you aren't a couple anymore, there was one point in his life where he loved you as completely and as realistically as he could possibly love somebody. And I'm sure you loved him right back in the same way. Just because that love has changed and gotten caught up and twisted and torn apart doesn't mean it never existed. The fact that it was there, once, in both of your hearts, is proof that he will care, he will be depressed, he will wonder what he could have done, he will regret this for his entire life. He might even contemplate suicide like you are right now. This is going to hurt him like you would not believe.
Imagine planning your funeral. Everyone picking out songs for you, photos of you. Remembering your life. Wishing they could have done more. Crying when they hear the news, heartbroken and wishing you hadn't done it. They'll be angry, thinking, "Why didn't she tell me? I cared..." But then, it will be too late. They'll be angry with you because they know you could have gotten through it. All of us here know you can get through this. I know you can get through this.
(part 3)
ReplyDeleteSuicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter what your life is like right now, IT WILL GET BETTER. I know sometimes the struggle is very, very hard, but it's not worth giving up on life. Life is all we have, life is everything. It's the beautiful moments, and the sad ones. Please, don't give up on all of these people here, all of the people around you at home. You can make it through. Keep fighting. You can get through this and see that there is life after what you're facing now. It may be hard, but you'll get there. You're sweet, caring, real, human, and beautiful. You've got the makings of greatness in you, but you've got to keep running this race life has placed before you. Stick with it, no matter what happens. Even if you can't see it now, someday you will get the chance to really show this world who you are, and you'll show everyone that you're a completely awecellent person that had the courage to keep living, even in the darkest of times. You'll be who you were born to be, you'll be living, walking proof that there is a way out of this, and it's not suicide. And on that day, when you can look back at your life and realize that it is SO worth it to keep breathing, as you talk about your past and what you've been through and how you've persevered, everyone around you will be positively glowing from the inspiration and hope and light coming off of your life, your experiences, your story, the beautiful and tragic moments... but all of those moments will be gone if you go through with your plans tonight.
I know you don't believe it right now, and I know that there is nothing I can do to make you believe what I believe, and I know that almost every single person that has contacted you already about this has said the same things I'm about to say, but too bad, you're going to hear it again on the chance that this time you might really see what we see in you.
You are beautiful. You are worth it. You have millions, billions, trillions of reasons to live. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be yourself. You deserve to do something great. You don't deserve to end your life because you feel like it's the only way out. It's not.
I don't know you personally, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I love you, and I will never judge you. I accept you the way you are.
Call or text me any time:
1-(618)-520-4161
Email me:
shinytopsandsodapops@live.com
Talk to me on tumblr:
shinytopsandsodapops.tumblr.com
And, I know everyone has posted this, but once again, call either of these numbers for more help:
1-800-784-2433
1-800-273-8255
I don’t know you, and I probably never will. I have no idea what you’ve been through or what has gone on in your life. I’ve never been in so depressed that I wanted to end my life. So I can not lie to you and tell you “I know what you’re going through”. Because I don’t. My life isn’t fabulous. But im lucky and I appreciate at that. All I know about you is taken from what I just read. This means I have absolutely no right to judge you or tell you what to do. But I can’t turn away from the page after reading what you wrote and sobbing, and not post a comment. I don’t know if you will even read it, but it’s worth a shot.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I want you to know that I am sorry. Im sorry you’ve been put through all of this, Im sorry for how you feel. Im going to let you in on a little secret that somewhere along the line I learned, life sucks. People suck. Everything sucks. Because that’s the way we look at things. Im not an intelligent person, im a fifteen year old girl with a tumblr who thinks that her opinion is important when really im no different from anyone else. Im not sure what im supposed to tell you to make you change you’re mind. A boy in my school who committed suicide. A boy who did not show many signs of depression. A boy who never did a wrong thing anyone. He was fifteen years old, most people don’t die until what they’re 60s… 70s? He was baby. He hardly got a chance to live. He has a family who had to celebrate Christmas with out him. my class will graduate… without him. His parents had to burry there own son. They brought him into this world and he chose to leave. They found their son dead, and there was nothing they could do about it.Im not calling you selfish because I don’t know you. All I know is that for a good three weeks my school was a wreck. All I know is that I held a girl I hardly know’s hand while she cried her eyes out for a week. All I know is that my brother goes to school with his brothers and he swears they look like lifeless. This is what happens after.
(part 4 -- last one, I promise)
ReplyDeleteI know you may never read this, you may never read any of the comments everyone here is posting, you may never fully comprehend the love your family and friends and people around you have for you, but killing yourself is not the answer.
See the big picture, think of all the things you'll miss. Think of all of the people whose lives you've touched, even in the slightest ways. Think of everyone here that has cared enough to post a comment and try to talk you out of it. This is all you have, and when you look back on this in the future, I pray that you will sleep easy, knowing you made the right decision.
Don't miss this.
Stick it out.
See what happens.
I promise, I swear to God, that it will be worth it many, many years down the road.
Keep running, don't give up the race now!
Don't let go- not now, not ever.
The story is never over, even when it seems you've hit rock bottom.
Love,
Courtney Patton.
( the rest)
ReplyDelete“925 million people are hungry. Every day, almost 16000 children die from hunger-related causes. That's one child every five seconds” im not belittling you’re issues but if 925 million people sit around with empty stomachs and still keep on living I have faith that you can too. 16000 children, its crazy isn’t. Its insane that as I write this, every time I finish a sentence or a paragraph or whatever, somewhere in the world a child is dying from a hunger- related cause. And that’s just those who are hungry. There are tons of other people dying as you read this of all other kinds of things, from the cold, from sickness, from cancer, from abuse, murder, drunk drivers, sober drivers… the possibilities are endless. We live in a dangerous world, where people who don’t deserve to die loose their life everyday. It’s not fair. And want to know what is also not fair? That while these people who have been put through sit, while these children have raised with nothing you are going to kill yourself. Your going to end you’re life by choice, while they would give anything to have the life you have. Im not trying to be a bitch, im not trying to make you feel guilty But don’t you think you kind of should? There is no nice way to say this, so im just going to say it flat out.some people have real problems. Your life sucks, my life sucks but that doesn’t mean we have any right to end it, that doesn’t mean that our life is any where near, how miserable and hopeless as a child under those conditions.
Do you know what I think are the most beautiful things ever? Disasters. No im not a crazy loon who stares at a tornado and goes… o0o0ooh prettttahhh. I love the way the world works together when faced with a disaster. I love the recovery. I love the, “its all going to be alright feeling”. I love other people who find beauty in disaster. Its crazy, im aware. But it’s a little thing called hope. Which no one has anymore, it was one of those things lost in the abyss with words like strength, care, faith, TRUST and oh my favorite overly used word ever, love. You are a disaster you are broken and I think you’re beautiful. And I know you’re strong. I can just tell. I think that you’re scars while imperfections, can be part of your past. Battle scars… if you let them be. Life its self is just one big disaster. It’s a black hole; full of meaningless days, hurt, pain, and corruption… dare I go on? But sometimes lights shines through that black hole ( yes im aware this is the cheapest analogy ever… believe me im barely getting a b in English… don’t judge me) some times we have these moments where life for a second, for a day for however long is beautiful. There’s this song by the spill canvas that ironically I just found yesterday … you should listen to it some time. Its sad but lovely. Anyways there’s a line that says: “ heavens not a place that you go when you die, its that moment in life that you feel most alive” {http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfBighSAXgo&feature=related)
Just letting everyone on here know, I called the sheriff's department and they said she had already been checked on. Hopefully that means she's at a hospital or somewhere safe. What it also means is that someone called before me, which is beautiful. From the tone of voice that the woman I talked to had, I could tell they had been getting calls all day. Thanks everyone.
ReplyDeleteknow that you’re broken. I know you think you cant go on any longer. I know you think that you don’t need the world, but I think it kind of needs you. You don’t need me to tell you that you’re beautiful and amazing and so on, because all these darling people already did that. People who don’t even know you love you, I love you. You’re truly loved. So im going to make a promise to you, a real sincere promise. I promise you that if you kill yourself tonight, right before it happens.. you’re going to regret it. And I think we both know that’s not something you can fix. But you can fix your life. You can live and be happy. I know you can. Don’t do this, you’re stronger than this. you don’t get a second chance this is it. and you just want it to end? what about the rest of you’re life? There are so many things you haven’t experienced yet! You’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you. And if you don’t want to live for you, live for all those other people that don’t have the opportunities you do. Do it for your family do it for your friends. Do it for anyone just don’t do it? make any sense… nah. Please, im begging you not to kill yourself. You have to believe that things will get better. Wait for that its “all going to be alright” feeling. You’re an amazing person and there is a purpose to your life that will not be fulfilled if you kill yourself tonight. My emails: dreamerforsure45 (I know cheep but whatever) if you want to talk.. even though you probably hate me after all the semi mean things I said in this, please do. Although I don’t know a lot about depression Im a good listener, trust me. I hope you read this and don’t do something you will regret. By the way you’re beautiful and loved and worth it. ill leave you with a quote because im cheep as hell “ we accept the love we think we deserve” its from my favorite book ever the perks of being a wallflower, if you haven’t read it, read it. its life changing.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Your average teenage girl who sits on the floor reading suicide notes and crying, who had the grammar and spelling skills are at the level of a forth grader and hopes made a difference in your life.
I was feeling like shot all day yesterday and today. I was miserable. I didn't want to talk to anyone; I was holding back tears. When I read this I stopped feeling sorry for myself and understood that I should be feeling sorry for other people who have worse problems. Don't say your worthless and hurt everyone, your story helps anyone who hears it and listens to it with an open heart. Life's not supposed to be easy, and it can be seem too fucking hard to bear at times, but the only way to make sure it doesn't happen again is to overcome those challenges; not alone if you don't think you can but with other people. There are people who will help you, even if you don't think you can get that support from your friends and family, there are other places you can go for help. Find someone who you can talk to. I don't know if you believe in God but He promises that He will lead you to happiness if you follow him. But giving up on life isn't the answer. Please listen, taking your life out of this world wont do anyone any good, even if you think you are only causing pain to others, your death wont fix that. I don't know if anything I can say will do any good, but I'll just leave you with one of my favourite quotes from the wisdom of John Mayer,
ReplyDelete"Pain throws your heart to the ground, Love turns the whole thing around, Fear is a friend who's misunderstood, and I know the heart of life is good."
jade, look at how many people care about you?
ReplyDeletethere are good people out there who will love you the way you need to be loved. you are strong enough to make it to 20 years! some people can't even do that, but you could! believe in yourself, please, and give yourself a chance. you can surprise yourself, you are capable of so much. there's so much good you can do.
the world will miss you whether you believe it or not.
please don't go.
There are people out there going through the same things as you, there is possible help out there for you. There are a lot of other people out there that won't judge you no matter what. I'm like that, I don't judge. Some of my friends do the same things and have gone through the same stuff. and in fact I just learned about BPD today, I watched "Girl Interrupted" . It would be a good movie to see, it shows how she gets through her disorder. Don't kill yourself, there is plenty to live for even if you don't see it now, it will come.
ReplyDeleteit will get better. it will.
ReplyDeletei whole heartedly promise.
please tell me you're alright.
ReplyDeletei don't know you. i just started following you on tumblr. i know virtually nothing about you, but i do know that if you do/did this, i, among many many many others, will be highly upset. look at how many random strangers have commented on this. and we're all just random losers from the internet. think about all the people who have actually had the privilege to meet and get to know you. they'll all be devastated. and i know its hard to give two shits about what other people feel when you're depressed and battling something like BPD, but please. there are other ways to handle pain. please please please just tell me you're okay. please.
Ms. Jade took an overdose of pills and is currently in the hospital fighting for her life. I cannot reveal how I know this, but you will have to trust me on this.
ReplyDeleteThank you to the one that tried to warn us.
just... please dont. youre beautiful. i dont know you, you dont know me. but you matter.
ReplyDeleteI know i don't know you personally, but PLEASE do NOT end your life... please. Don't do it. think about all the people you will permanently hurt if you go through with this !! Everyone in your life that cares about you so dearly will be devestated. Death and suicide does not only affect the one person, it affects everyone around them. Although you may not be able to find your place in the world currently, wait.. give it time, you WILL find your place.. i PROMISE you that.
ReplyDeleteI know a commenter above said you are fighting for your life in the hospital, but please, don't ever try this again...
People really do love you!
I don't know you. I just read something on my Tumblr dash about you. The second I read it a pit formed in my stomach and a lump arose in my throat. My heart is pounding and I am honestly crying as I type this.
ReplyDeleteI am on the opposite side of the country from you, and I am almost completely, 100% sure that we will never meet. But regardless I want to share with you my hopes that you're okay. You're so young, and you have so much more of life to experience. I can't even imagine the amount of pain you must have gone through to resort to this, and I am so so sorry that you have had to.
I want you to know, that there is so much more to life. You are beautiful, Jade. Even if you don't think so, even if you feel worthless, you're not. Don't you ever think that you're not just as beautiful and amazing as every other human being out there, because you are. You don't deserve to die, let alone so young and broken.
Jade, there are thousands of people out here that are waiting and hoping and praying desperately for you to be okay. I'm just one of them. I can't explain why, but I care. I want you to be okay, Jade, I want you to feel better and once again enjoy life and be happy. I am not religious in the slightest, but as soon as I am finished typing this I will immediately pray for you and your well-being; it's the least I can do.
Please, please be okay, Jade. It's not your time to go yet.
Don't kill yourself. You are loved. I love you. Jesus loves you. Don't throw His gift of life away. Please. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In just a blink of an eye, none of the things bothering you will even matter anymore. Please. Think about what you're doing. It's not right. Please. Read these comments. Do you see how many people love and care about you? Doesn't this give you hope that you WILL find your "true love" one day? You will. Because God has someone planned for you. I don't know if you believe in God, but I do, and you know what? He is crying right now. He is crying because He wants you to stay alive SO badly. He has His arms around you. Please. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and scream. Scream out all your anger and sadness. Beat up a pillow. Slam your door. Please don't kill yourself. There are so many people who have found the light through suicidal thoughts/attempts, and I have never been so sure in my life that you will too. In a few years, you'll look back on this moment and thank yourself for not doing it because you will be so happy with the life you have. I'm crying. Please tell me you're okay. I hope I'm not too late. Oh goodness, I hope I'm not. I don't know how I'm going to handle day by day without knowing if you're alive. So many people love you. And if you don't believe it? Well, I do. And one person is enough. Because that one person could change your life forever.
ReplyDeleteWhen you feel like you're at the end of your rope, TIE A KNOT AND HANG ON!
She says she wants to die, but in reality she just wants to be saved. :'(
ReplyDeleteI don't know her but i am hurting for her.
Jade,
ReplyDeleteI don't know if hoshierboy is telling the truth, but if he is, then you are still alive. I pray that you are.
Almost everything I wanted to say has been said a hundred times (OVER a hundred times- look how many people care about you!), but I also want to say this: We all love you, and God loves you desperately- even if you don't love yourself right now.
I can't promise that your struggles will magically evaporate if you survive this ordeal. I can't promise that your BPD will disappear or that everyone in life will start "taking you seriously", as you put it (but, again, look at how many strangers love you!). I CAN promise, however, that you can know peace. I CAN promise you that you can know healing. I CAN promise you that you are not alone.
I have no idea how you feel about God. I don't know if you hate Him or if you don't believe in Him or if you feel He doesn't care about you.
I am not saying that you should "find religion", or that you should start reading your Bible everyday, and I'm certainly not trying to force my beliefs on you. I am just showing you the only path I know to peace. The Bible promises that God "Heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds". Honestly, he can and will do the same for you- you just have to let him.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by giving Him a chance to transform your life. God saved a friend of mine from the brink of suicide four years ago. There was a time when I thought I would never see her smile again, a time when I thought she would never stop hating herself. I'll never forget the day she stopped fighting God's love. She was sobbing hysterically as she admitted that she couldn't face her personal demons alone. It's been a rough road for her, but now, four years later, she's the most joyful she's ever been.
Know that you can't do this alone. Humans weren't meant to go through this crazy journey called life on our own. Let us help you help yourself! If you want to talk, my email is challengereality@yahoo.com. Or turn to a friend or loved one, talk to them, let them help you! "Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it."
You are strong. You are beautiful. You will come out on the other side of this stronger than ever.
Love,
Kristen
Im sorry but i couldn´t even read it.
ReplyDeleteI really couldn´t.
People look down on me everyfucking day. I have been diagnosed with severe depression a few years ago. Did i kill myself? NO. Because I learned that sometimes you shouldn´t give a fuck about NO ONE. I learned that everyday someone is going to fuck you over and break a promise. Do I want to kill myself? No fucking way. And you know what? Today I´m happy even though sometimes life is shit.
And if you want to do it. do. Be fucking selfish.
Darwinism at work.
Ok, I just read every comment this has. I got it on my Tumblr dashboard and trust me, I don't follow many people (just 22). I'm new on Tumblr. And just let me tell you, someone loves you enough to make it go around. It's 8:15pm, and you posted this at noon. The number of comments it's not even the 10% of the people that has read this. And absolutely everyone of us LOVES YOU. Everyone of us want you to stay alive.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I have tought of suicide myself. But everytime I'm close to do it, I think to myself. So what, I die, no one cares and life will go on. But no. I don't want that, I want someone who cares, I want to be loved, I want to find myself. Because nothing feels real, it has never felt real.
Ok, I don't have BPD, I don't know how hard it is for you, I don't know how painful must be to go through every freakin' day. I don't know how bad it is, that is making you think like this. Making you give up on life, on everything you've dreamt of. But what I know is, I will be here for you. No matter what. Because you deserve people who love you, and I do. Please don't do it. We are here. We will get you through this, even if it means flying down to wherever you are. I believe in you, I believe you are gonna get thrugh this. YOU ARE AMAZING, just the way you are
136 people want to save you, want you to live. the majority of which probably don't know you in real life. THAT is something worth living for.
ReplyDeleteyou said you want to get better, so do it. fight for it. fight for yourself because you are worth it.
Please don't kill yourself, it isn't worth it.
ReplyDeleteI myself have been struggling with suicide and self inflicted pain for five in a half years now, and to be honest I was going to commit suicide tonight. Then out of the blue this girl came to me on chat on facebook, told me to look at her status, with a link to this telling everyone to find a way to contact you to tell you not to do it. It made me stop. I've lost four of my best friends, because I simply called too late, I checked my phone too late, looked at my emails after they were gone. Please don't let one of your best friends think they could've saved you by a few seconds.
You're loved, you are. It may not be by who you want but look at all the other people that are trying so hard to stop you.
I've never had a boyfriend, I probably never will. But if some of us girls can't have a special guy, we can at least make ourselves feel special.
I know it's hard to have a disorder like that, But wouldn't you love to wait and be 21, and have great friends, and be perfectly healthy? And live your long life knowing you beat it?
I know I would.
You'll hurt people, people will hurt you, it's life. Life sometimes isn't a big bowl of happy, but it will be in the long run.
Please don't make us all wonder every single day for the rest of our lives what happened to you, because we love you, and we care about you.
PLEASE, Jade don't do it.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago, I've been in the EXACT same position as you were. Only that I've been in a really abusive relationship with someone who said he loved me, but his actions proved me otherwise.
Long story short, I've taken an excessive amount of pills, cut myself and one day I've tried to hang myself in my closet while my boyfriend was on his way to my house. I just didn't want to live anymore. I've even been in a psych ward for almost a week, and it was really scary.
Now, it's been about two years. I finally got the strength to kick him out of my life. I'm happier than I've ever been.
Jade, PLEASE know that life will get better for you. Don't do anything that can hurt YOU and everyone else that loves you.
Just don't do it.
Don't do it. You don't know that tomorrow won't be a good day; you have to get there. Everything in life happens for a reason, and maybe all of this is to help you be a strong, beautiful woman, which is exactly what you are. I went through a period of depression and I tried to kill myself; now, I am SO glad that I didn't, because life is so much more beautiful, and the same will happen to you; you'll wake up one day and realize that life is beautiful and worth living, and you will meet the man of your dreams. You just have to have hope. Because they're NOT all the same. You just have to keep trying, no matter how hard it hurts. God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle. Sometimes, He pushes us to our limits, but He never breaks them. You just have to have a little hope and faith. <3
ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteplease dont do this. You were given this life as a gift. It is precious and you need to try to enjoy it. There are more people in this world who dont even know you and love you for who you are. There will always be love and there is someone out there just for you, who loves you, for everything you are, and everything your not. You need to give yourself the chance to find that person. It didnt work out with anyone else because your not meant to be with them. Please just give life a chance <3
ReplyDeleteJade, there is always hope, even in the blackest of days.
ReplyDeleteI see so much of myself in your words. I'm a schizoid with schizotypal tendencies, severe depression, and God only knows what else. I am only a month younger than you, I've lost virtually everyone I've ever loved, and no therapist in my entire life has helped me either.
Sure, it hurts. I almost committed suicide two days ago myself, for those and so many other reasons... but I ultimately decided that I'm going to keep living in spite of how difficult life is, because I want to use my remaining days to make someone else's days worth living.
It sounds difficult because it is, but it is worth it.
Find something to hold on to, and never let go of it. If all you have right now is the love of over 140 strangers, then hold on to that.
I love you, scars and all. We all do.
If you want to contact me for any reason, my email is spinningcannon@yahoo.com.
Stay with us, Jade. Please.
Please, for the love of your existence and no one else's, spare yourself. That's a plea, not a command. I can't speak for you, other than what you've included in this blog I haven't a clue about, but please, there is always a way of working things out, this doesn't entail suicide. There WILL be a lover other out there for you, if you believe it. Believe it, please? Believe that you can conquer this shit and that you can handle it, because you can. I believe you can.
ReplyDeletedon't do it. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. everything you are going through right now is just hurdles that life through at you and you have to jump over them. but once you're past them you will quickly reach the goal. just give it a chance andit will all pay off in the end.
ReplyDeleteI was close to where you are right now, and I can tell you that I know how it feels to forget what it's like to be happy, and not anxious, and to love doing things, and not to cry and sleep all the time.
ReplyDeletebut what you're feeling isn't how you were meant to feel. Pull through it, I know you can do it! Call a friend, call a family member, talk to God or a higher power or whoever you believe in.
I can't stress this strongly enough: you can pull through. It's okay to ask for help. Call someone. Please don't kill yourself. It hurts, I know it hurts, but if you pull from the strength from within, I know you can emerge, stronger than you ever thought you could be.
Stay strong. Call someone to talk. I don't know you, but I know how you're feeling and I love you.
There's not much to say that hasn't already been said multifold, but here's a thought.
ReplyDeleteYou know your BPD? That thing that makes you a demon, as you put it? Treat it as a demon. Treat it as an unwelcome parasite living within you and kill it off. Squish it. Curb-stomp it. Conquer it. Because it's trying to beat you, and for that it can go to hell.
Please keep on living. Get meds, counselling, whatever you need to beat BPD. Become the most successful and the happiest person you could possibly be as a "fuck you" to the parasite trying to beat you.
I have faith in you. We all have faith in you.
Give 'em hell. You can win this. You WILL win this.
My best friend has BPD. I know the symptons. I've seen them firsthand. I've held her hand and seen the scars. I've cried during the night not knowing if she would be there in the morning. So I understand. Trust me, I understand. I see the pain and the secrets. I get it. I know why you want to do this. We live in a broken world. It's only a matter of time before it breaks us. There's a point in everyone's life where they just want to call it quits. Some people do while some people keep going. And in this past couple of months I've watched one quit and one go on. My best friend is here, but my cousin is gone. I watched everyone continually write him letters, notes and wall posts about how much they love him and how they will miss him. That's what made me cry the hardest. We always fuss up either at the last minute or when it's too late. So, I know I don't know you, but I want to do the last minute thing.
ReplyDeleteI love you. You are fucking beautiful and don't you dare role your eyes because so many people are saying it to you right now. You are beautiful, scars and all. And you are not alone. There are people with your condition, my best friend being one of them. We know what it's like and it doesn't matter that we don't know you. We will all come together to hold your hand. We want you to live through this.
You have a life. No one said it was going to be easy. We don't get a promise when we're born that we will never cry, never ache, never experince losses and heartbreak.
You are meant to live. You're meant to meet people, have a relationship with them. You need to understand that there is a freedom. It's possible. It's there. There is a change that can happen. A ripple effect. It's happening right now with all these comments people are writing here. A community is being created. If you can't be hopeful for yourself, then we will.
We will be the hopeful.
You need to know that your life matters. It matters to all of us.
If you are reading this, and I pray to God that you are, I want you to take your hands and clasp them together. Close your eyes and squeeze tightly. I'm holding your hand. I care for you. I love you. You're not alone. I'm there with you.
You need to believe these things.
You have your whole life ahead of you.
This is not the end of your story.
you still want all these things. you could have them. but suicide eliminates your possibilities. you're young and there is still so much ahead of you.
ReplyDeletethere's always reasons to give up, but there's also always reasons to keep going too. i could quote you cliches, and things that have been said a thousand times before, about how suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems, or statistics about other people, but you're not other people, you are you. you are unique. you're situation is unique, and what you do is your choice and your choice alone. It's you're choice to live or die, but if you choose to live, you'll be stronger for it. make it your choice to live. live, and really live. do more than exist. live for you.
you want to be with someone forever, for them to love you forever, but first, you have to love you. start there and the rest will fall into place.
just live in the moment. don't worry about the past, you can't change it. & don't worry about the future, face life as it comes to you.
there's a big beautiful world out there, don't miss out on it.
God, you don't know how many times I think suicide would just solve every problem that I have.
ReplyDeleteBut I know that people love me here, apparently, and purposely killing myself would just kill them too. I don't want to put that kind of burden on them, I don't want them to be hurt, to try to figure out what they didn't do.
I don't want to hurt anyone...BUT I don't want to be miserable either.
Keep trying, please. I HATE how my life is right now but the little things in it make me happy. It could be SO BETTER and I'm just trying to make the most of it.
I've never met you, and I know you don't know me, but PLEASE reconsider. I found this note through a reblog on tumblr. Know that you are loved and your life has value, whether you realize it or not. Just by the comments on this post, you can see that there are people out there who care about you, and you deserve more. You deserve to live a fantastic life, and I truly believe that that can happen for you.
ReplyDeletePlease consider calling the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1800-273-8225 (1800-273-TALK).
You are loved. And there is a world of opportunities out there waiting for you.
i have never been to your blog before today, but please do not kill yourself. please. you are so worth living for. you might have a hard life, but you are loved. you are not worthless. you are a strong girl who can deal with these disorders you have. just because he broke up with you doesn't mean that no one else cares about you. have you seen all the people who came to your tumblr and blogspot to prevent you from disappearing from this world? think about it, there has to be a reason as to why all these people will take time out of their so called happy lives just to tell you to stay. though suiciding might seem like a great option right now, it is not. think of all the people you will hurt, all those who will miss you. it may seem like nobody will, but there might be someone who cares about you, but is too scared to tell you. so please, i'd like to run into you one day. maybe in real life, maybe in tumblr world, i hope we meet again. btw, i found this on tumblr.
ReplyDeletethat's seriously a lot of comments through all the reblogs and advertising on other websites.
ReplyDeletehope you feel better after reading all of these.
at least , feel loved , feel self worth,
and don't end your life over some stupid crap (:
pull yourself together, good luck (:
DON'T DO IT.
ReplyDeletePlease.
Just please.
It's not worth it. Even if you have BPD you can still just find that group of people who will accept you and won't make you feel like this.
Just don't.
I just wanted to say, I hope you wake up. And I hope you find that strength you need. I believe you are TRUELY beautiful and appreciated. I think to those who mess with you, tell them to go screw themselves. Theyre not needed. Acceptin yourself isthe first step to a happy life.
ReplyDeletePlease. Wake. Up.
idont know you personally.. but ireally hope it isnt too late at all to reach you.
ReplyDeleteididnt read all of your note, but iread most of it. obviously you have a purpose in life if you've faced so many near death experiences. you are important to me and to many other people and i've never even met you or have talked to you and irandomly came across your page.
idont know if you'll ever get to read this, but ihope you do. you're searching for an un-failing love that only one person can fill and that would be Jesus Christ. yes, iget you probably have no hope in religion or want to hear about it right now because of everything you've been through but ipromise you that is the only person that will feel that empty void in your life. he never gives you anything that you cant handle and he gives us these obstacles in life because when you reach Heaven it will be worth everything you have been through. you are an amazing, strong person for what you have to go through. dont do it.. you dont want to spend the rest of your life in an eternal hell. it is not worth it. ipromise you that. you will be in my prayers tonight.
Obviously you're not dying because there's a will, somewhere in the world, for you to live..
ReplyDeleteYou can overcome any problem that comes your way. I know you have the strength-- plus you have all of our support. I can only speak for myself, but judging from the all the people who are encouraging you, we all love you and all want to support you.
ReplyDeleteTruly, you are hope to me. You inspire me because prevailing in horrible situations takes tremendous strength, and it gives me hope that I can do that too.
You have already changed the world for the better-- you have given me faith in the strength inside of all of us. You can use your experience not only to overcome what happens to you, but to improve the world. Your being here makes this a better place. If you ever want to talk, or just someone to listen, please reply and we'll get in touch. I love you. Thank you so much for helping me.
I really hope you didn't go through with it..
ReplyDeleteI don't want you to be gone...
I don't even know you and you don't know me but..I read your entire note and it hit me hard.
I understand when you hit that low point it just feels like absolutely nothing's worth it. That there's no point in anything and sometimes it feels like it's taking forever to actually find something worth keeping you around. Just...try waiting longer...don't let go...
Dear Jade,
ReplyDeleteI know you have no clue who I am.
But I want you to know that you ARE someone who is very special.
I understand your feelings right now, I am not going to say that I know ... because I don't know EXACTLY what your feelings are. However, I have been in similar situations, where it seems that living just has no point. Therefore, I understand.
Please don't do this, Jade.
I understand that it hurts.
I understand that the pain is unbearable.
But you have too much potential to throw it all away.
We all love you.
You may not even love us, but so many people here in this online world have taken the time to reach out to you.
I hope that I am not too late.
I hope that we are not too late.
Please rethink your decision.
There are many people with BPD that have pushed through the obstacles it may bring.
I have faith that you can do so as well.
Please, Jade. Don't let go.
Please don't do this. People love you Jade. God loves you. I love you.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you to get through this Jade. I'm praying for a miracle for you. I'm praying that He will heal you.
It's not your time to give up, not yet.
ReplyDeleteSo many people want you to hang on. Know that we want you to be happy, but, don't hang on for US. Do it for yourself.. There is so much from life that you can still take. People have hurt you, and I know you hurt so much right now, but you are YOUNG. There's more to find and more to love and more love to be had, from places you might not have ever thought. It's not time to end the search, painful as things are. Look at this, just here - we're pouring our hearts to you. Maybe it they haven't found you yet, but there is someone out there that can be yours, help keep you whole. You have to press on until you find that person.. or people. Because WE are all here for you. I promise, you are loved.
You don't want to die, you want to be saved. And we're all here with extended hands. Please, hang on.
Please, don't go through with this! I don't know you, but I know you are a beautiful person. Don't let this win, I am positive you can get passed this. We are given obstacles like this to prove our strength. I know you are stronger than you could ever imagine! I care about you, as many other people do. Imagine how this will leave the people who love you; they won't be able to go on without you. I'll be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteyou may feel as though it's the end for you, there are many who has been through there. Though i don't know how it feels to have that disorder, i hope that you can be brave and live a bit longer. Right now may feel as though everything going off the wrong way but stay strong, you have so many people here, strangers as we are, who are here willing to love and help you. please don't kill yourself, i may not know you and you may not know me but knowing that you are going to do this, i had to say something. My two best friends committed suicide and i saw it coming with one of my friends but i didn't say something, i blamed myself for so long. Even though I do not know you, there are soooo many feelings that goes through one self.
ReplyDeleteThe feeling of never belonging anywhere, i've felt that. The feeling of just wanting to be truly loved by someone, i wished for that too.
The happiness comes in different forms, you just have to endure the pain a little bit more, we're all here to help and support you, and by the time you know it, happiness will overcome this.
He may not be the right one for you dear, no matter how good he is, if he isn't the one for you, there's no reason to blame yourself. You aren't a bad person either, you think you're bad but you aren't. We are all unique people who goes through the same path but in different ways.
i'm 19 and i've had thoughts like yours except i had awesome friends who helped me through the hardest times like this is for you.
Suicide is not selfish. I think in order for you to be suicidal, you must be very brave because honestly, i've almost killed myself once but i was too scared to die, too scared because i wouldn't get to see the people i loved anymore and because of that, i lived another day and because of living another day, my life got better and dear, i swear, life will get better, just take one step at a time...
i hope this didn't get to you too late. You are beautiful, amazing, and though you don't know your talent right now, it'll come. I know many people who hasn't realized their talents but trust me, keep talking to us, keep living, keep going another day, one step at a time and your talent will reveal itself to you.
<3 katherina vang...please don't let go of your life, please live...please.
You don't want to do this, please don't take your life away! You see all of these comments on the page? We care about you and we want to help you. There's other ways to deal with problems; suicide is not the answer. We all have a threshold in our lifetime at some point. Somehow, someway, we can all climb over it.
ReplyDeleteYou have so much to live for!
I really hope you're okay. I tried to kill myself once; I really thought life wasn't worth it, but things changed. I have severe manic depression; I know how it feels to try and do right, only to get slapped in the face. Believe me, I still struggle daily, but each day is just a living testament of how you can get out of such a low in your life.
ReplyDeleteYou may not see it, but someone out there loves you, other than the thousands of us that are crying out to you. Someone in your life wants you. They love you so much. And if you take your life, you don't realize how much they are going to suffer because of it.
This entire thread is just evidence of how SO many people want to see you happy. I really hope you're okay. Stay strong. You are truly beautiful, and you are here for a purpose.
goyaffa.tumblr.com
yaffytaffy12345@netscape.net
Please. Please. Please don't do this to yourself. Even though you may not think it, there's someone out there who needs you; who wants you in their life. You're so much stronger than you tell yourself you are. And if you ever want to talk, follow me at kissmequick-makeitlast.tumblr.com and please don't hesitate to contact me. God be with you. Please don't do it. Please.
ReplyDeleteJADE, PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS
ReplyDeleteread these comments that people have left you, because everyone is giving you the same idea. there is hope for you, no matter what your situation
PLEASE BELIEVE things will get better!!!!!! please believe that you'll ALWAYS be beautiful if you love yourself. please believe that you are WORTH the love, because you are! Truly and utterly. please believe that there is ALWAYS something to live for. and that you WILL feel wonderful, beautiful, loveable and amazing one day if you hold on to life and fight
and fighting is worth it. fighting will lead you out of the darkness. fighting includes time and perseverance, and you never have to do it alone
I wouldn't give up on you. If you let me be your friend, I wouldn't ever give up on you. I won't.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know you, but PLEASE know that it's never too late to have a fresh start. Taking your own life would be selfish and it would hurt that love of yours even more if you did it. Go and fix things with him. And there's always help when you need it. You're not alone.
ReplyDeletei hope this isn't late. i hope you're reading all these comments and laugh at some, cry at some, but you're reading them and you're feeling the people who wrote them. just give us a sign as soon as you can. please
ReplyDeleteI hope that you live another day, i hope that you read these while you were in the process, just looking for something to make you stop, make you think about things just a bit more before you made your action and i hope your action was to think about living another day, taking one step at a time. Please, please live another day.
ReplyDeletetalk to me.
i have a tumblr....vangk.tumblr.com, i have a blog...activenerd.blogspot.com, i have an email...school email: vangk1050@my.uwstout.edu, i have a cellphone...perferably text or leave me a voice mail, i usually don't answer calls that i don't recognize 6512624760, i have unlimited texting, not unlimited minutes tho >_< but it's free 9-12 and weekends, unless of course you are verizon, then it's free to talk to me whenever :)
anything to help you.
<3 katherina vang
Please do not do this.
ReplyDeleteLife is really shitty most of the time but it's those little moments and memories that make living worth the while.
I hope this isn't too late; please be strong and conquer this demon. You can do this. Even though I don't know you personally Jade, I know you can.
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ReplyDeletePlease don't do what you're planning to do.
ReplyDeleteLife might get real mad at times. It might seem like things won't be able to get fixed, but trust me it will. That is just a test for you. And remember, God doesn't give us something we can't handle. We can do it!
Please don't do this. You seem like a sweet girl, and I know, somewhere out there, someone loves you for you who are, scars and all.
Please whatever you do. Do NOT take your own life. Think about what you will be putting your family and friends through. The people that love you the most.
ReplyDeleteTrust me I have been through depression. I haven't beaten it yet. But, I am still fighting day in and day out.
Please go to this site and get the help you need.
http://www.twloha.com/
Take your time and look around. Call the number.
They will help you. Trust me. It's never too late to get the help that you need or the help that you deserve.
BPD IS hell. But you can make it through. remember, this is part of that disease, and you can choose to make it or break it. YOU can choose to come through it and YOU can make yourself who YOU want to be. You may not see your worth right now, but someone does somewhere. I don't know who you are. I don't know your story. But I know that you have worth and that you deserve to keep going until you get the help you need. If you are here now it's because you deserve to get the help you need. We're all rootin for you.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up.
ReplyDeleteYou are loved.
Sweetie, exactly because you know you have BPD and the other disorders you can know when to fight it. You only need to really put you mind into it and give it some time.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was thirteen I got really depressed and started to cut myself and I wanted to kill myself. Now I'm eighteen and even though I get terribly insecure and depressed sometimes I know I can make it because I've done it before.
Never say nobody will love a girl with scars, I've got terrible scars on my left arm and my legs and I've already had two boyfriends who loved me enough to see past them. Scars don't prove anything or change who you are. You just happened to go through hard times. Scars just become a part of who you are and someone will love you with or without them.
Don't kill yourself, you can still fight and life will be so much better once you know you've been strong enough to live past this.
If you are still breathing and still able to read this, I suggest going on YouTube and looking up "Try Again" by Seein. This song has saved my life countless times and as a fellow sufferer of BPD and a recovered self mutilator, I can somewhat relate to your pain and I hope that you don't give up just yet because you will find that there ARE people who will understand your pain and will accept you and love you for all that you are. It took me 18 years and I've found someone who loves me despite the deep scars on my arms, legs, stomache and chest and despite my intense, uncontrollable mood swings that leave everyone around me in tears. YOU CAN TOO.
ReplyDeleteIf you are still here, call me. I want to help <3
714-356-3191
I am praying for you, Jade <3
"Hold on...if you feel like letting go
ReplyDeleteHold on...it gets better than you know
Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...hold on"
Please don't take those pills. Please don't take your life. You are beautiful. Your heart and soul are beautiful. I know it seems like there is no way out and you have no options left but you do. We're here for you! You matter!
There is NOTHING you can't do if you set your mind to it! You CAN get through this. Just give it a try. Please don't go, this world needs you.
I hope this isn't too late <3
Listen to "Beautiful" by Mercy Me.
ReplyDeleteIt helped me a lot. :)
You can get over this Jade. :) I know you can. I will be praying for you ♥
God loves you. Praying for you. Even in the worst of times god is there. I hope your reading this and pray your fine. Suicide is never the answer. Never.
ReplyDeleteThere is a God, and he loves you and wants to hold all of your pains and fears for you. I am almost in tears right now for you because I know how you feel. Two years ago and recently I almost killed myself, but God showed me I was worth more than self hatred.
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS! God made you beautiful and to him you have no flaws, nothing you can say or do will ever make him abandon you. I can surely answer to that with all my heart.
Please, Don't do this! Nothing is worth killing yourself over, NOTHING.
I'm begging you. Please, find a youth pastor in your area who can help you. I'm praying for you!
I've heard from a reblog that you were planning on letting go today. I'm hoping with everything in my soul that you've held on. I know it must be really difficult have to live life differently than others, but that just makes you strong. I would care deeply if you were gone from this earth. I don't know you too much, and I didn't know you, but I promise you, I will care if you're not part of this world any more. I want you to know that. I know it seems hopeless, but you can get through it. There are others out there that are like you, that understand. You're here for a reason. I promise. Maybe there's a reason why you didn't die every time you tried. Cause you're meant to be here. I've never even been kissed in my life and I'm 19. You have time ahead of you, and you have no idea what life has in store. I hope you're still here. I really do.
ReplyDelete"I want to get better, I truly and honestly do"
ReplyDeleteThat thought there , would keep me going.
you sound strong. I hope you change your mind. goodluck.
You are here for a reason. And you've lasted this long for a reason.
ReplyDeleteHey everyone who commented someone DID find out where she lives and contacted the authorities http://facingthemusic.tumblr.com/post/2749051900/my-afternoon
ReplyDeletehopefully she's safe now, I haven't heard/found anything else yet.
Please don't do this :'( you're putting a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can get through this. You don't know me and probably never will but I want you to know I'm also one of the STRANGERS that care about you.
ReplyDeleteStay strong. Love you Jade Green.
Please don't. I know you've heard people say that they've lost people to suicide and I'm one of them and I know the comments probably overused by now I don't care! It hurt till this day and its been over 3 years since he passed. I know this is only a comment on a blog but I don't care, I don't care you're a stranger that I don't know, I'm asking, please don't give up! Life gets better I promise!
ReplyDeleteStay alive. <3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxhZJJAGjW0
ReplyDeleteHey girl , please don't do it . Even if things bring you down , you shouldn't let it stop you from living . Sure they hate you or whatever cause of your personality . But so what . You know , someday , there will be one guy that will love you for who you are . He will tolerate each of your every moment whenever your BPD arises . I'm sure he'll understands you and will love you just the way you are . Im sure there's this one guy who will just fall in love with you again and again every time he sees you . how will i know that these stuffs will happen ? I dont think so .. i know so . So dont demoralise yourself babe . You are perfect just the way you are . If people turn you down or think you are bad cause of your BPD , heck care . look at the glass as if its half full . dont care about all the pain infront of you . just smile ,and know that there is tomorrow . who knows what may come tomorrow . and im sure..
ReplyDeleteTomorrow will be a better day.
So yeah , cheers honey and live your life to the fullest .
xoxo, Mira (:
PS : im here if ya wanna talk . you might just wanna add me up ( cheeck_alvin@hotmail.com )
And i've request to be a friend on facebook .
stay happy daling and i'll love you too no matter what . <3
this was rebloged on my tumblr from someone I follow.
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say is that you obviously want help, all you need to do is accept help. I used to be a cutter and suicidal in silence. But I decided to ignore everyone elses opinions of me and get over my own personal issues (some I still have) and am happy. You can fight it. My friend recently tried to commit suicide and was in a hospital for weeks. He is currently struggling with cutting.
You are not alone, and all these comments are just little reminders that somewhere, in this big world, someone is waiting for you to find them so they can love you.
I hope that you didn't try to die. But if you did, I hope someone found you.
my e-mail: Marshmellowsmore@hotmail.com
email me if you ever need someone to talk to when you are able. <3
We all love you
Please don't do this Jade. Look at all these people who care about you. This just shows that you WILL find someone who will love you no matter what. I care about you so much and I don't even know you. One day you'll come across one of these people, just please, accept our love. You're not alone. Don't do this. Please, please don't give up. You're a beautiful person.
ReplyDeleteDear Jade: I do not know you, but I know how you are feeling. I honestly do. Please, do not commit suicide. Look at all those comments! There's about 200 of them supporting you.
ReplyDeleteI too have BPD, and yes, I am a fucking monster sometimes. (Pardon the language). I've been living with BPD for years, and only just recently found out that I have it. I just got out of a relationship and it definitely brought out the beast in me, I started cutting again & I've been suicidal but I'm improving! I know you can too!!
You aren't alone. Everyone on here loves you, even though most of us probably don't even know you. I feel your pain.
Please, just look at these comments... Look at this. Complete strangers are crying and scared because they CARE about you. As do I. When I read this, I started bawling and I can't stop. I know how you feel.
If you ever need an ear, please message me on facebook! My email for facebook is xxpsychosomatic.suicidexx@live.com
We love you.
I doubt you will be able to read this as it is buried under so many other comments, but that alone should be enough to tell you that so many people care about you and do not want you to end your life, these people don't even know you and are begging you not to do it, I can tell by the words they use that they mean it.
ReplyDeleteI won't pretend that I know what you are going through because I don't, but I have watched other people going through the same thing make an amazing life for themselves. You're 20. You are so unbelievably young and have so much time to get better. Have you ever tried finding people who are in the same boat and talking to them about it? Perhaps when you see how far they have come it might push you in the same direction. But you won't know that if you end it all now. I know we will never meet, I only just clicked a link to this blog on my tumblr dash board, I haven't looked at your profile so I don't even know what you look like, or anything about you. So why do I care about a girl who is living thousands of miles away from me in another country who I will probably never have any contact with? I don't know, I guess I can't stand the thought of anyone who feels that the only solution to their problems is to end their life. This is why you need to look at life from a different perspective, if strangers are sending you messages of hope, perhaps life is not as bad as it seems.
You are not alone, remember that. I hope I am not too late.
Please don't.
ReplyDeleteGranted it is selfish to ask you to keep struggling with a hell of a life and to keep fighting to see a brighter day. BUT you WILL be missed. I will miss you. I don't even know you. Gabby will miss you. I'd like to say that the whole world will just stop and miss you, but that's not true. But the people who are close to you or were close to you will stop and miss you. You might permanently be etched in their memory with a feeling of sadness and loss. The feeling of loss when a person you knew snapped and suddenly left this world rather than fighting on through the hard, lonely, and sad times. Your whole life won't be this way. You will see better days.
It's not wrong to feel what you are feeling. Your right, what you are dealing with is as devastating as any disease. I can only hope that you get help and get the proper care you need. Because your a sweet nice person who deserves it.
You'll never get the help you want or need if you end it all now. Your whole life, and everything you have survived and struggled with will be in vain.
You've got to BELIEVE you can go on and get better. It's hard but I'm sure it's possible.
Please Don't. Please please just try to go on and survive through this rough patch.